Don't be sorry.. I think this is a safe space where we can rant!

I'm in a similar situation waiting for biopsy results but for a different part of the body and it feels like the world has turned upside down... 

I'm thinking though that without the tests they don't really know... but that doesn't make it feel any less scary. Sending good wishes your way.. I'm currently taking Kalms to help me and at least I get some sleep...

I feel the same as you. I’ve had 2 episodes of blood when wiping and also dripping into the toilet following a bowel movement. My back passage stung though as I think some wee got onto it so I’m hoping that just means I have a tear. Problem is my stools haven’t been right for months, very loose, small and I go a lot. Sometimes 4 times in the space of an hour. I’ve been bloated (in the evenings) and had pain over to my left side. I am a mum to two boys aged 4 and 2. Every time I look at them my heart breaks and I worry. I’ve got a consultant appointment tomorrow. Obviously not going to get any answers as will need a colonoscopy for that so more waiting. I hope you’re doing ok.9 totally understand what you’re going through. It’s horrrible.

Sorry I've only just see this....

how was your appointment with the consultant, have you got a plan? 
 

I know how you're feeling you're not alone... my heart breaks at for my 5 year old daughter too... I feel like I've gone beyond  insanity at this point. It's so hard, everyone telling me statistically I most likely don't have bowel cancer because of my age etc just makes me furious because it doesn't help me statistically or not it still happens. My colonoscopy is on the 21st July but I've now gone private an I have a 30 minute consultation tomorrow evening to see if I can be referred any quicker, like next week or something! Please keep me updated on how you get on x

I will do. I go tomorrow morning to see the consultant. Please let me know how you get on too tomorrow evening. The waiting is just horrible. Some moments I’m ok and then it’ll suddenly hit me. :-( 

Would you mind me asking what your bowel habits and stools are like? In addition to mine not being right, I’ve also got terrible heartburn. I also had a laparoscopy to remove an ovarian cyst back in October and my gynaecologist said that my bowels were impacted? I didn’t really understand what that meant but now im

worrying that if this is something bad that I’ve had it for a long time :-( I feel like rubbish. I’m sorry you’re going through all of this too. I just want to be a mummy to my two boys and not have this worry hanging over me. I wish the same for you too.xxxx

Hope you get some progression with the consultant- let me know how it goes!

my stool to be honest it's full of mucus and has been for at least 18 months, blood on very rare occasions. But I used to go twice a day with normal consistency, now it's once of a morning and very thin with looks to be air pockets in, and have had bouts of diarrhoea. I've had a lot of side and lower back pain also and very gassy with trapped wind feeling.

 All these symptoms have been present now for around 8 weeks and the mucus being here obviously longer. 
 

my colonoscopy is due on the 21st of this month but I have a consultation with private healthcare and hoping I can get one quicker... but shall see what the consultant says. 
 

I honestly feel your worry I'm fully there with you, I just want to be there and my little girl to have her mummy around for years to come and I just have this gut feeling (excuse the pun) that it's going to be taken away and I feel unbelievably guilty about it.

let me know how today goes x

Hi Ellen- how are you doing?

have you had any news on your results? X

How did you get on Mrs Ljb? I hope you are getting some answers and that you get your colonoscopy sooner.

I saw a lovely consultant today who doesn’t think I should be worried. It made me feel better for a while but now I’m back to worrying again. He’s sent off some bloods and I need to do a stool sample. My stools are still loose and not right but I’ve not been going as much which is good. The last few weeks I could sometimes go up to 4/5 times a day.  My stools just aren’t together, they’re very flaky but not watery. Quite often I can go and then about 30 mins later a tiny bit more comes out. It’s odd. I’ve not had any further blood but I’m still getting bloated/windy at night and my stomach bubbles a lot. How have you been today? I just wish I’d been booked in for a colonoscopy so that I know for sure.x 

I'm ok thank you, still a nervous wreck! I do have moments of "worrying is not going to do a damn thing" then I jump straight back into my anxiety hole... I had a telephone consultation today with a very lovely gastro consultant, and he has booked me in for a colonoscopy on Wednesday! Kind of freaked me out how urgent but at the same time I need to know what's going on... 

so what did your dr say?? What do they think is the issue? I'm glad you're not going as much... I'm sort of the same but like you everything feels very alien back there in regards to my normal habits. We're doing the right thing just need to keep telling ourselves... so you're now doing bloods and stools it's a start! Xx