Hey guys, I dont really know where else to go with this and I guess this seems to be the right place.

It's currently half 12 on a work night and I cant sleep, I've had this discomfort in my chest and I've been coughing a lot over the past few days and being a smoker and highly paranoid my mind has immediately decided I have cancer or lymphoma or some other horrible disease. I'm not scared for myself, maybe a little, but for my mum as I'm her star and we get on much better than my dad or brother. My death would kill her and as I lie here able to breathe fine until I have one or two coughs I hate myself for what I might have done. I know I'm probably overreacting and I do suffer from hayfever so this could be a symptom of that, I just need to stay alive for my mum she's the greatest person to ever walk the face of the earth and she doesn't get anywhere near the level of recognition she deserves. Sorry for waffling guys and thanks to anyone who read this, I appreciate it.