How's everything going everyone? My apt is on Wednesday and I'm sick to my stomach, haven't slept in days. I cant wait but I can wait if you know what I mean.

How's everyone feeling? 

Hi. I feel quite numb today. I had a mini meltdown the other day too! I keep going over the 'what ifs?', my family tell me not to but i can't stop myself. Yeah, im feeling ill too, my life doesn't feel normal now. I know what you mean about the appointment, part of me needs to get it out of the way but at the same time i really don't want to know. I really hope things go well for you on wednesday and puts your mind at ease

My mum keeps telling me not to over think it but how can you not? Don't you think it's a little bit like torture? I am no longer worried about having BC, it's the spread that worries me.

Your apt is Thursday? 

Yeah thursday, 9:20. Its defenitly torture, i feel so ill with worry. And i worry about it spreading too. I think ive accepted its likely breast cancer now, but if its treatable. I really don't know how i'll cope if its not. Another worry of mine now, is that it could be inflammatory breast cancer, but will have to wait and see. 

Kaympee

I would phone the clinic, thats what i did and they were able to tell me when my appointment is. 

Thinking of you both. I'll let you know how i get on

Definitely chase the appointment up. 

My appointment is at 14.45 tomorrow so I'm thinking tomorrow isn't going to be a good day. My stomach is just twisted and it feels like I have crushing weight on me.

I'm struggling with the normal stuff at the mo, I can't focus on anything else and everyone around me is noticing. 

If I'm this bad now, I don't know how I'm going to be when they tell me what there suspicions are tomorrow. 

Melting down tonight, dreading tomorrow. I wish this wasn't happening.

Awww, i know the feeling. Just take it 1 step at a time. And do breathing exercises, i find they calm me down a bit. Here if you need to chat

Well today's the day and all I can imagine is being handed a death sentence. I really don't know how I will begin to explain to my children and Im pretty sure this worrying is not helping my pregnancy. Scared stiff is an appropriate phrase. Got to wait till this afternoon, have nothing positive left, was hoping the lump would just disappear haha.

Good luck today. I'm praying everything is positive for you. Try remember not all lumps are cancers and many people of here have had positive outcomes after finding a lump. I know how hard it is to remain positive, I'm the biggest negative nelly about!

Deep breaths, you've got this, you are made of strong stuff!! X