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Scared

Al17
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Hello,

I'm not really sure if I should really be posting here but recently I've been getting quite a lot of pain in my armpit. I've mainly put it down to the fact I have a 1 year old and a 3 year old that I'm constantly lugging around and lifting in and out of beds and cots. For a while it's also felt a bit tougher in my left breast than my right and I've noticed it whilst showering. I always thought I could feel a lump but I couldn't be sure, my partner checked and said he couldn't feel anything which was temporarily reassuring. Yesterday morning I was getting some sharp stabbing pains in my chest and when I washed my hair and lifted my arms in the air it felt like something behind my left breast was being pulled and it was quite uncomfortable. I then was able to find a very noticeable lump. I called my doctor and she got me straight in, she had me do some different positions with my arms and she could feel the lump. She said it's reassuring that she could move it and it was round and smooth. She also said cos I've had pain for a while and cos she could feel the lump she's going to refer me to the breast cancer clinic. She said it's purely for reassurance and she would be very surprised if it turns out to be cancer but I'm absolutely terrified waiting for my appointment which will be within 2 weeks. 
 

I've been seen recently because I'm cold all of the time and am itching all over, I had blood tests done and it was all fine but now I'm worried it was all fine because the itching and coldness is linked to cancer that they weren't testing for. 
 

I hope the fact she said she'd be surprised if it was cancer is reassuring because that's a bold thing to say if she's not sure or has any concerns. 
 

All I can think about is my two little babies, I have a 3 year old boy and a 1 year old girl and I am so scared of leaving them. If it helps we have no history of any cancers in my parents or grandparents (yet) and we're quite healthy. I'm also only 27 so hoping it's just a cyst. 
 

I'm not really sure why I'm posting here other than I'm so scared and just was hoping to talk to people equally as scared or maybe people that have been through this and had the all clear. 
 

My partner is very good and says we'll deal with whatever's thrown at us but I don't want anything to be thrown at us :neutral::cry:

 

Thank you if you took the time to read this x

  • Offline

    A17

    Hi A17

    Im sorry to.read about your lump and pains you have  been experiencing, and its not surprising your worried. But you've done excactly the right thing in  going to the doctors and getting it checked out ..

    Im no.doctor  or cancer breast specialists  so i cant tell you what it is, but it seems  unlikkey that its cancer  , as from my own exoerience my lump i found was hard  and didnt move it was solid, it was cancer. Yours sounds much more like a cyst  

    So i know its hard but try not to worry, as my son always tells  me , it will.make you feel.worse as stress does that.  My son is 35 he was 34 when he found his lump just before Christmas  , his birthday was in February. He was diognosed with testicular cancer just before christmas and it spread  to his lymth nodes in his stomsch and he has a spot of ot on his lung.He has hopefully finished his chemotherapy  at a London  hospital. He has scans on the 10th june, and sees his consultant on the 25th june to hooefuly get sone good news. He has been amazingly strong positive from.the start , and still is. Hes kept  me sane throughout all.of this. 

    So try to not let this conume your every thought , believe me i do.know how hard it is to shut those feelings and thoughts down, but if i can do it ( not always im human lol) you can too.

    Im hoping its good  news and nothing bad.

    Keep in touch on here my ,lovely, im sending you some positive vibes. Xx

     

  • Offline in reply to Jassoscared

    Hello,

    Thank you for your reply and I'm so sorry to hear of everything you and your son have been through and are still going through. I hope that your son gets the best news at his appointment, it sounds like he's been really strong and has a great outlook. 
     

    I really hope it's nothing but I can't stop looking at my children's faces and imagining not seeing them growing up. It's really tough and a scary time waiting for the appointment. 
     

    Thank you for taking the time to reply, and for your reassurances. I really hope everything works out for you, and for your son and thank you again x

  • Offline in reply to Al17

    Scared

    I know exactly how you must be feeling , i looked at my Grandchildrens pictures when i was first diognosed and had the very same thought.  But there is so much better treatments out there now, cancer doesn't have to be a killer.  There are sooo mamy wonderful.stromg brave women  and men on here that have had all the feelings  and emotions we are having right now. And i know ill.be having different feelongs and emotions every day  of this roller coaster  ride im on.There are sooo many women and men ion this site being diognised and joining this site everyday.And there are sooo many positive success posts on here , try to.just take each day as it comes and it will be easier, if you try hard to put a positive cap on, yes somedays it will slip.off, but try to get those emotiins and feelongs under control and put it straight back on .im.sure you are stronger and braver than you think you are  my lovely.

    Im always hear if you need a sounding board. 

    I.know its daft , but when i get stressed i go.outside and shout out loud Horlicks...and it always makes me laugh, as im.thinking to  myself my  neighbours must think im.mad ...who cares lol . Xx

     

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