Hi everyone, so glad I’ve found this chat forum, I’m so scared inside but trying to be strong for my husband & children. It all started when I noticed some discomfort in left breast about 5-6 weeks ago, I didn’t think much of it & just thought my boisterous 2 year old had just given me an accidental kick or something but when the feeling didn’t subside I had a proper look & feel and knew there were other changes too. I could see dimpling, feel some thickening & a lump when I pressed harder on the top part of my breast above the nipple. I have huge (36G) breasts that have always felt lumpy around the time of my period, but this obviously wasn’t the same & since then I’ve just had this ‘feeling’ that something is seriously wrong. I rang my gp who did a telephone consultation with me and once I’d explained  these changes and I answered his questions he referred me for a breast clinic appointment straight away. I had a call within 2 days with an appointment for the following week at a private healthcare hospital that the nhs are using during this covid-19 crisis, so I know I’ve been extremely lucky. The appointment was yesterday afternoon, I was a little apprehensive but I’m 39 with no family history of breast cancer in good health so kept telling myself I was probably worried for nothing. The first doctor I saw examined me and agreed she could feel some thickening but thought it could be hormonal, she said she’d sent me up for an ultrasound scan and we’d go from there. The doctor doing the scan found a lump straight away which she didn’t like the look of, she took ages doing it & then I was told I needed to go straight round for a mammogram & then a core biopsy afterwards. The staff were all lovely and the procedure, although a little painful, went ok and she took 3 biopsies from the lump. Now I’ve been told to expect the results in about a weeks time but they’re not quite sure how they’ll be given to me because of the Coronavirus, it may be a telephone call, it may not?

I’m terrified, my husband is the only person that knows anything and although he’s very supportive and keeps telling me it will all be ok I know that it really might not be. This waiting is agonising, I can’t stop thinking about it and I’m desperately trying to hold it together and not cry as I really don’t want my children to know anything until I’m armed with the facts.

I’m sorry for the long post and I know there are many of you going through far worse than I am, I could just really use a friend right now, 

Bex