Hi Lau,

Welcome to our forum, although I'm sorry to hear about what has brought you here. It is always a worry when you find a lump, especially when there is a family history of cancer. I have had 2 bouts of breast cancer. The first was 10 years ago and the secondwas 9. My Mum also had breast cancer and died of secondary breast cancer 10 years before I was diagnosed.

Your partner's reaction is perfectly normal. I expect that he is trying to persuade you that all will be ok and, is not prepared to accept that it is cancer until you receive a positive diagnosis. It sounds as if he is in denial until this happens.

You are right that you need to tak to someone about this. Is your partner prepared to attend your appointments with you? It is always a good idea to do this, especially if you are going to get the results of any tests. If he doesn't want to, it sounds as if your Mum might be the best candidate. Most people don't say anything until they get a positive diagnosis, as only 1 person in 8 gets the bad news.

I can only tell you how I'd feel if you were my daughter. I would certainly want to be there for you. Your Mum may be upset if you don't confide in her, as you could rely on her experience to get you through this. We all tend to think the worst at this time, but fortunately this seldom happens.

Have you got an appointment for the breast clinic yet? This usually comes through within 2 weeks of referral by your GP.

Please keep in touch and let us know how you get on. We are always here for you whenever you want to talk.

I've got my fingers crossed for good news!

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx

Thankyou for getting back to me. 

I am feeling fairly positive, as you say most of the time it won't be breast cancer.

My appointment is actually tomorrow and my partner has said he will come but the hospital have said they would prefer me to attend alone so I think we'll do as the hospital advise.

I think I'm just having some last minute panic and would usually turn to my Mum in these situations.

I think I'll giver her a call later.. as much as the outcome will hopefully be positive I would hate to tell her the news if she wasn't even aware I'd been to get checked over.

Thankyou again for your advice and I'll hopefully be able to share some positive news xx

Hi Lau,

I hope that all goes well for you tomorrow. You are not likely to get a diagnosis at your first appointment. You will probably have some tests carried out and, then have an anxious 1-2 week wait to get your results. It is not so important to have someone with you tomorrow, but it definitely is if you have to return for your results.

It sounds as if it might be best to let your Mum know that you are going for tests, because, as you say, it would not be a good idea to break the news that it was positive, if she was unaware that you had concerns previously.

I hope that you get some good news - a positive outcome is not what you want in this case!

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx