Scared I have melanoma

Hi all,

I’m not sure what I’m expecting to hear but I’ve scared myself today and until I can get to a dermatology appointment (I’ve booked a private appointment for Wednesday next week) I just know I’m going to make myself sick with worry in the meantime and wondered if someone could offer me some reassurance or at least lend an ear?

 

So I think I’ve had this mole for at least 18 months. It’s fairly small - around 3-4mm in diameter - but dark; darker than my other moles. It’s on the back of my leg. I’ve been watching it and monitoring it for some time but haven’t noticed that it’s changed. 

 

Anyway, on a total whim today I decided to use the skin vision app and check it on there. It was rated as high risk. I took two more pictures of it and they were, again, classified as high risk. I have this horrible feeling that it is melanoma and that I’ve been really silly not getting it checked before, but I always reasoned that if it grew or changed that I’d deal with it then. I suppose my question is if it’s been around for a good 18 months, maybe longer, is there any chance at all it’s still in it’s early stages? It’s not a funny shape, it’s not got multiple colours, it’s less than 6mm in diameter. It’s just dark. But, yeah, this high risk result has really, really spooked me and what with everything else that’s going on in the world my brain just wants to explode. I’m scared.

Anyway, if no one replies it’s ok, I just wanted to feel like I’m doing something useful to maybe calm my brain while I wait to get it checked. 

Thanks for reading. 

N

  • Hi Emily,

    I've read your posts regarding your lymph node and it's good that it's being removed for your peace of mind.

    The fact that the clinicians think your node is fine is reassuring and I think you have got yourself so anxious about the node that you are now trying to find the source of the problem, if there is found to be a problem.

    It doesn't sound as though your mole is displaying any changes or signs of possible malignancy but the dermatologist should be able to calm your fears by examining it with a dermascope - this shows if there are any cell changes within the mole. If they are happy the cells all look normal they will give you a clean bill of health & hopefully the node biopsy will produce the same result. As an aside, in most cases a melanoma on the lower torso would spread to the nodes either in the groin or under the armpit. Nodal spread in the neck tends to be from the head, face, neck or upper torso (shoulder/upper back area). So hopefully your mole & your node will turn out to be fine. Please try to find ways to calm your health anxiety as the wait for appointments etc will be more debilitating than you need. Try some meditation/minfullness (lots on YouTube) and stay away from Google - it causes more distress than it helps. Good luck with your appointments and please let us know how you get on,

    Angie (Stage 3 melanoma patient since 2009)

  • Hi angie 

    Thankyou so much for your reply! I've been quite bad these few days struggling to eat and sleeping a lot because I'm so drained from overthinking but my appointment is tomorrow with the derm. So finally it's arrived! it's at 3pm so please think of me. I keep looking at my mole compulsively but I'm trying to stop now she's the best person tomorrow to look at it. it's just the two colour within it and weird shape that is scaring me but I'm hoping it's really just atypical I have quite a few moles that look like that on my body and I'm naturally ginger so I'm so prone to them. The one thing I can't get my head around and im struggling with is that im so silly for just going now to see a derm maybe I should have gone years ago I keep beating myself up so much! But I'm going out with my friends today and hoping it will help. I'll keep constant updates for you! Hope you have a wonderful day

  • Hey angie 

    just thought I'd update here! So I seen my dermotiologst and there's three moles now that stand out. Looking quite weird looking one on my leg which has very irregular borders, my stomach one wasn't really of a concern but that will be taken out just as a procaution and one on my thigh which has a lot of stretch marks going through so has made the edges very blurred. So I have to wait to the 30th and hopefully have them removed if not then maybe a few days after. I'm in bits atm just feeling very hopeless and now having three weird moles I'm unsure which one to look at. Just hoping for some positive words really just at the lowest I've ever been at been sleeping a lot these few days! Hope you're enjoying your evening!! 

  • Hi how did you get on? Have you had your results? I've just been fast tracked for a dermatologist appointment as I have had an itchy mole on my back. I'm so scared that it's going to be cancer. I can't really talk to anyone either as I'm always the strong one for everyone else. Im

    rea praying I get an appointment this week.