Hi Lyn,

You are way way ahead of yourself. It also sounds as if you have been consulting 'Dr Google'. This is never a good thing to do, as much of the information is inaccurate, out of date, poorly researched and aimed at the most spectacular cases. You don't really know what you are dealing with yet. The enormity of looking this far ahead and thinking the worst is something that most of us think about at this stage. Fortunately, things are seldom as bad as this.

Try to deal with the situation day by day, or even hour by hour, if this is too much. Don't allow yourself to look so far ahead. Try to keep yourself busy - this doesn't have to be work related. Do some things that you enjoy to help pass the time until you get your scan results. I know that this is difficult with so many amenities being closed at present, but do your best, even if it's just for a walk in the local park.

Have you found the other posts on nasal cancer that I mentioned in my previous post? You might find it helpful to read some of them

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx

Jolamine, I did read the posts, but they were all negative......  Particularly one poor lady who had some terrible choices to make.   I have no desire to go out, I just want to stay at home and hide. I cannot even speak to friends on the phone, what is there to say, they know my situation and have said lots of words of comfort, all I can say is how I feel, and who wants to hear that.  I feel sick all the time and am losing weight, I know that I should eat for my health, but even trying to swallow drinks for people having eating issues makes me gag.  There is nothing that I can enjoy, I put the radio on and thats about it.  My beloved dogs have been very clingy and cannot understand what is wrong with me, I am so lucky to have a good husband, who is taking care of things.

Thank you

Lyn xxx  

Hi Lyn,

I am sorry for telling you where to find the posts if they were all negative. It is maybe just as well that you have no desire to go out at the moment, as you probably should be self-isolating anyway. When you say that you feel sick all the time, is this due to anxiety or do you feel physically sick?  If the latter, you can be prescribed an anti-nausea tablet, which should help.

What type of dogs do you have and how old are they? Many people feel that their dogs 'seem to know'. Unfortunately radio and TV  are not very cheery at the moment. Are you having bother getting food down, or is it that you just don't feel like eating?

When it comes to outcome, a lot depends upon the grade of cancer, so here's hoping that you have caught it early. I am glad to hear that your husband is taking care of things for now.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx

Hi Jolamine, please dont be sorry, you re so kind and I really apprciate your support.  I feel sick all the time because of the anxiety and depression which are getting worse. I have no energy and just want to sleep all the time.  I'm sure its nothing to do with the cncer, just my mental illness.

I have a smooth fox terrier, Sonny aged 5 and a long coated chihuahua, Midge who will be 3 this year.  As you say the news is awful for everyone and I am worried that it may have an impact on my appointment and treatment, waiting until 31 March is torture.

Lyn xxx 

Hi Lyn,

Do you find the anti-depressants making any difference to how you feel? We had a fox terrier many years ago. Trixie was a lovely dog and followed my younger brother every where he went. She was also very intelligent. We've never had a chihuahua, but I imagine that they are very loving dogs.

The news at the moment is dire and, I sincerely hope that it doesn't impact on your appointment and treatment. I suspect that the cancer doctors will be kept for their own speciality and, will not be used to bolster existing NHS staff who are dealing with the Coronavirus, as all the recently retired doctors have been requested to do.

Here we all are worrying about cancer, then something as seeming innocuous comes along and tries to wipe us all out!

The waiting for results is an awful stage and, I'm sure that you'll be glad to see 31st come around.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx

Hi Jolamine,  I have only been taking them about 5 days and they take about 4 to 6 weeks to take affect.  yes fox terriers are intelligent and naughty but so loveable.  Chihuahuas are little love bugs, always wanting a cuddlle.

Yes, the news is grim for all, so many people are going to struggle, my son is cabin crew for BA and he has no flights in the future, he has a morgage to pay and ironically after many years has just bought a new car.  I am a manager 2 days a week in a charity shop and have just heard that it is now closed indefinately.

I pray that all the cancer patients in the uk do not have their treatment affected.  If people do as the Goverment advise this virus should a do a lot less damage, but there are are many selfish people who will ignore it.

The waiting is terrible Jolamine, and each day my mental state is worsening, 9 days to go.

Lyn xxx 

Hi Lyn,

The waiting is just sheer torture. There are so many unknowns and there is a mixture of fear and anxiety. I was so upset early on that my oncologist threatened to call the in-house psychiatrist and get me sectioned. This was all because I had said that 'life wasn't worst living like this'. I was referring to the fact that I had buried my best friend with bowel cancer on the Monday and had spent 4 full days at different hospitals that week. Fortunately, my husband and I managed to persuade her that I had no intention of committing suicide, which was how she had interpreted things.

I only had a week to wait for results and that was bad enough. I expect that you are finding every additional day feels like a week. I have just finished talking to my son and his family via Whats App. My granddaughters were having a great time cuddling their little dog. She is a cross between a terrier, a miniature poodle and a Bichon Frise. She has a lovely nature and enjoys having a fuss made of her.

I am sorry to hear about your son's employment position. I expect that there will be several people in his position shortly. The Government has announced that he should get 80% of his salary. This should at least help to pay his mortgage and keep the wolf from the door. If your position is a paid position, you should also qualify for this. I am still working, but expect that I'll be closing down shortly.

You are quite right. If people would only do what they're told, things would settle down much more quickly. Sadly, there are many who are not doing this and, I suspect that they will have to make some legislation to force them to do so.

Regardless of the outcome of your tests, you will find it easier to cope once you get the results of your tests and know what you are dealing with.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx

Hi Jolamine, I spoke to my GP this morning, because I cannot go on like this, he is a very  kind man.  He told me that he had written to the local mental health team last week about me but would give them a call after our conversation, I did tell him that I do feel suicidal, I felt so bad because my husband was in the room, he does not deserve this from me.  He called me back to say that one of the team woud call me to discuss things today.  I desperately need sedation for the anxiety, but he said I must speak to them first.  The small 2mg of diazapam he prescribed does nothing.  I have eight days now until my appointment to find out where the cancer is, stage etc.

If only could know the results, but I have had depression before over nothing in particular, many years ago.  I was in hosptal for nine months before I was cured.

Lyn xxx

Hi Lyn,

I am delighted to hear that you managed to get hold of your GP today and, that he is going to give the mental health team a call in follow up to his letter of last week.

Although it will be upsetting for your husband to hear that you have suicidal thoughts, it is better for both of you to be open with one another and admit to these whilst you can still get help (even if you have to fight furiously for it).

This wait is enough to upset anyone, whether or not they have previously had problems with depression. I hope that you do get a call back today and, that something can be done to help you.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx