Looking for support available.

Hi,

I am 27, currently based overseas in Cyprus with my family as my husband is in the forces. We have two boys, a 6 year old and a 12 week old who was conceived through 2 rounds of IVF.

Around a month ago I noticed a large lump around my collar bone. I was urgently referred for xrays, bloods and an ultrasound all done within a few days (great treatment in Cyprus), from there they referred me for a full body CT scan and a biopsy which was booked for a few days later. However the military wouldn't authorise these appointments which meant I had to be referred back to the NHS and wait for an appointment through them. We got an appointment with a consultant 2 weeks later and the whole family has had to fly back to the Uk. I had my appointment on friday and was told its 95% likely to be lymphoma and i am currently awaiting a biopsy in another weeks time.

As the percentage of this being cancer are so high, I am not able to return home in Cyprus due to the military not authorising treatment out there and the consultant is wanting to start treatment as soon as the results come back (which is obviously the best as I dont want to delay it).

I have had to tell our 6 year old that we will not be returning home, only for a few days to pack up the house. Obviously he is distraught at the thought of leaving his home and friends so abruptly. Everyone is saying how resilient he is because he is an army child and telling me not to worry about him but this is different. In the space of 12 weeks, he has had a baby come into the house, hes now been told we are leaving home with no warning and he knows something isn't right with mummy (I haven't mentioned the C word, just told him theres some germs in the lump that need testing to see which medicine is best to get rid if them).

As we've been lucky enough never to have experienced cancer before, I am hoping someone could shed some light on any support available to younger children and also any support available to me as I am really struggling with the 'whys' and the 'hows' of this situation and it takes alot for me to admit that. 

I am having to deal with so many losses; my home, my life as I know it, my family's stability, the first year of baby's life and as a family of 4. They may seem like small losses but to me they're everything after the emotional 5 year journey to get to this point. 

I would be grateful for any advice and support on how to navigate through all of these emotions and also for any details on support available to my family too.

I'm also aware I dont have a diagnosis yet but as we have to go by the 95% likelihood, everything is full steam ahead.

Apologies for the long post and if I'm not in the right place please advise me where to go.

Many thanks,

B x

 

  • Hi BobbyD

    So sorry you're having to deal with this, especially at such a young age with young kids. Went I went through breast cancer my support came mostly from people outside of family; cancer research nurses, Haven centre and maggie centre. After treatment I turned to my GP and was put in touch with a nurse there and link worker from a mental health charity all based in the GP practice.

    MacMillan offers support for the hole fsmily so I would probably start there once you have your diagnosis. Best wishes x

  • Many thanks for your reply Magpiemaggie.

    Honestly it has come as such a shock as I dont feel in the slightest unwell and all the symptoms seem to be normal for postpartum.

    Thank you for giving me a few ideas of where to look. I just feel I need to speak to someone outside of family to make more sense of things.

    I have everything crossed that it is a random case of nothingness and we can go home and carry on life as normal

    Many thanks again,

    B x

  • I know how you feel, I had no symtoms and was fit and healthy. It is a shock to find that there is something wrong when it comes out of the blue. I hope its a "random case of nothingness", will keep my fingers crossed for you. x

  • Hi Bobby, I hope that when your results come through you have good news, my heart goes out to you haviing to cope with a new baby losing your home etc.  It seems so unfair that you cannot stay in Cyprus, if you do need treatment, do the forces help you with acommodation over here or anything else?  Do you have family in the UK for support?  Do stay in touch, I will wishing the very best for you.

    xxx