Please help:

My smear came back as high grade and I've missed smears in the past. I've been extremely worried for the last week.
I went to have my colposcopy (privately) today as my doctors messed up and I couldn't bare messing around anymore. When I got there the consultant asked how I had delivered my 3  children? C section. He said he doubted her would be able to access my cervix fully to see the cells but to wait for my NHS appointment (1.5 weeks time). I told him I was feeling extremely worried as my cervix doesn't feel right (self inspection). He tried to reassure me that it was going to be fine. He said he would examine me if it made me feel better. I said OK. As he was giving me a pelvis exam he was pushing really hard. He asked how long I've suffered from endometriosis as I've got it severe around my cervix therefore he can't see my cervix. He said I should be screaming out in pain how hard he was pressing. I've never had any symptoms from this. Until today I didn't know I had it. He's booked me into his clinic at the NHS hospital at 8.30am tomorrow. I'm bleeding very heavily. Has anyone else had this? Could cancer look like this? He was pretty sure it was endometriosis though.

After a full inspection my consultant thinks it's a tumour. Had biopsies taken and he's urgently pushing them through and have an emergency MRI scan booked for this week.

Has anyone else have a fused/distorted cervix (hard/mass behind it?) I bleed quiet easily when examined but not through sex and only one heavy bleed prior.
No pain anywhere, no excess weeing/pooing. I've had discharge which I though was an infection and body was trying to clean itself.

I am so worried as I didn't have a smear for many many many years (plus 10, maybe 15yrs). Has it been growing this long? How quickly has itt spread through my body? Am I riddled with it?
I am 3 small children and a mum who had a brain injury 2 years ago that needs me. My mum is severely brain damaged and it's been a fight for 2 years with her alone.