Hi All,

Firstly, I am astounded by the courage of all of you on this forum. Please accept my apologies for any breach of etiquette, as I do not yet have a diagnosis. I could just really do with hearing from someone who has been where I am at the moment. I have crippling anxiety.

On I Thursday, I passed a lot of blood in my urine. No clots, but very pink/red through the whole stream. I have had kidney type pain for a couple of weeks. Lower back pain for longer, maybe a few months.

Saw my GP. Urine test showed blood, but no infection. Red flag referral to urology to use his words - probably 3 weeks or so. Blood, Urine tests and urgent x-ray ultrasound scan (next couple of days) all being put in place. I'm convinced that lower back pain is sign of advanced bladder cancer, as that's what everything online suggests. Doctor Google. I am absolutely terrified.

I have a wife and three children with me being the only earner. Our kids are all under 5. My own father passed away when I was five years old, leaving three children behind and I've always felt that the same would happen to me, which I think caused my health anxiety. Now it looks like my greatest fear will be realised.

I feel so guilty as I want to be 'normal' for the children, yet I am beside myself with anxiety, particularly what they will do without me being around and missing seeing them grow up.

I am so anxious and stressed that I note feel like I have pain everywhere.

Not really sure what I want anyone to say. I guess I'm just struggling.

Thanks for reading.

TJ.