Hi,

Its a round of scans and hospital tests until your surgery and then you have a rest while it heals. I had a masectomy in Dec, so it's more invasive. Have been waiting  8 weeks for chemo to start. It's a relief to know the tumour has gone though and then the treatment is to kill any cells remaining. Your cancer sounds small so that's good. They also removed my underarm lymph nodes, the cancer was in 2 nodes. Everyone is different , wishing you well.

Silver

Hi Loumw,

It does sound like things are done differently according to area. I've got a 22mm lump and not got a surgery date yet. MRI scan later today to check for sure it isn't in my lymph nodes - the doc didn't think it was at the appointment last week, but I guess they have to be absolutely sure and this is the only way. I see him again on Friday to set a surgery date. They're getting your treatment going very quickly, that's good. Did we have the same type of cancer, invasive ductal?

Like you, he talked about taking out the sentinel node, the first one that coloured dye goes into when they inject it. He said this would be done at the same time as the surgery to remove the lump. I live in South Manchester.

Thanks for saying I sound positive. I am on a rollercoaster, to be honest. I went for a massage yesterday and the lady said my body felt like it was in shock. I still cry when telling people about it and agree that I'm still in shock. Like you, I get times when I fear another layer of bad news coming, but I know that's not helpful for me, so I hold on to the positive bits from the appointment last week. Apart from coming on here, I don't go searching for info about my condition on Google. I try to keep active. I sleep when I want, eat when I want (healthily, with the occasional  treat).

I have got an ex-colleague who's been through it all and talks about it like it was nothing - she calls the whole process 'a bit of a pain in the ***' (!) I like to hear positive stories about recovery and focus on those.

I get most scared and sad at night and the weekends. I'm feeling sickly this morning because I've got the MRI later and it puts me in defence mode wondering 'what next?'

I also hate the thought that other women are frightened and panicking, so coming on here to try and instil a bit of calm is helping me too. 

I've started an instagram account to keep positive and focus on recovery.

Sounds like they know pretty much everything they need to do with you now....stay in touch and ket us know how Thursday go.

Sending you all good vibes for a straighforward op

xxx

Hi Lou,

I did put the hospital where my treatment will be in my last message, but the moderators have removed it as they've got a policy about not naming. I'm in Greater Manchester but the op itself will be at a hospital in S Manchester.

Going in the MRI tube this afternoon. Deep breaths! 

xxxx

Hi Bev

hope the MRI went well.

i was suppose to be having my op tomorrow and the hospital have just called to cancel on me as they said the hospital systems are down and can't go ahead.

another waiting game as to when I can get this thing out of me. I'm terrified it's spreading inside me and don't know how much more I can take.

not had any other scans just the biopsy. Just praying I get a call tomorrow with another date!

lou x 

Hi Lou,

There's a cancer pathway which means you HAVE to be treated within a certain timescale, so try not to worry. It won't be spreading while you wait, the pathway timescale is designed with things like that in mind. 

I agree though, it feels like being suspended in No Man's Land. Make sure you keep busy and do nice things. I went out with a friend today for breakfast, and was absolutely fine and had a bit of a laugh, then I decided to go and check out Maggie's Place. I went in, it's lovely, calm and has the most kind staff, and I just bawled my eyes out for an hour. It's such a rolletcoaster. They've got lots going on there and it's such a welcoming place. 

I don't know about you, but I'm finding it helpful listening to positive recovery stories. The volunteer who looked after me at Maggie's place told me, when I calmed down, that she was exactly the same 1 year ago, after being diagnosed with a rare and aggressive cancer in her ovaries. She's now looking well and recovered. 

The MRI was just a scan, nothing more they can tell me until I see the doctor on Friday and he tells me if it's in my lymph or not and when the surgery is.

It's bloody awful waiting, I completely understand. So frightening and lost-feeling, but it's really important you're kind to yourself and get lots of support 

If you drive and you feel like meeting at Maggie's at some point, let me know. 

I hope you get your op really soon..let me know.

Bev xx

Hi Bev.

you are keeping me sane to be honest. I just look at my children and think. Please god don't take me away from them. I want to see them grow and get married. I'm only 39 and can't imagine not being with them.

my little one is so upset and my older (who is 14) is bottling it all up and is really angry. Cancer doesn't just effect the one it's happening too, it's the ones around you.

lou xx 

Hi Lou,

Try and stay reassuring for them, even if you don't feel it. I sat mine down and was dead straight, and told them exactly what the doc said - 'mum will need an operation in her poorly boob, but he says it will be OK and mum will get better'.  Also checking in on them and asking 'Are you OK, have you got any little worries or questions?' To be honest, mine just grunted and went off to re-attach to their X-boxes! When I asked a couple of days later if they were ok or had any worries they said 'No. You said the doctor said it was treatable'. 

You sound quite isolated? Where are you getting your support from? Have you told any friends yet? What about your parents/siblings? 

xxx

Hi Bev.

i have loads of support. My house is full with people trying to be positive. I have my husband, mum and auntie all here, but I just done seen to be able to shake this feeling off.

i just kept thinking this nightmare would be over today and getting it cut out was the road to recovery. The hospital systems are still down so still can't give me a date. I'm left in limbo and so anxious. 
I am terrified because I know it's invasive and any little niggle I get I think it's spreading. I have a terrible metal taste in my mouth and can't even enjoy my food. Just feeling low Bea cause out of all the hospitals in the country the one I'm going to send to go down the day before my op.

lou xx 

Hi Lou,

Have you heard any more yet?

I've just had a call saying my clinic appointment has been cancelled tomorrow because they don't have the MRI report yet. That will mean another wait until Wednesday or next Friday. 

I was having the same thoughts, is this thing growing, will the wait be adversely affecting me, etc, but I phoned my breast care nurse straight away and she said no.

So just think: these things have potentially been growing in us a loooong time so a few more days ir couple of weeks won't make a difference.

Have you got a breast care nurse? Might be worth talking to her to put your mind at ease.

Xxxc