Dear Lovely CornPops

what a lovely user name. It’s very cute.

Im so glad that your sons first exam went well today. Just hang in there before you tel, him your news because knowing about your diagnosis won’t change the situation For you. Be brave. Just bide your time. 

I was so upset telling my daughter my news because both of her grandmothers have had breast cancer and my own mum is still being treated for it. Sharing this bad news is always going to be heartbreaking. My worst fear is that my dear lovely daughter and granddaughters may be afflicted in the future. My best advice is to concentrate on getting better yourself. 

Im sure that your family will be full of kindness and support Cornpops. It will help you to get through the tough times ahead.

Today was my first day of radiotherapy and I’m now counting down to the end of my treatment with immense positivity and it wasn’t at all bad.

Please keep in touch and updated on your progress. I’m sending you a big hug and good luck wishes to your son in his exams.

stay strong. There is so much for you to look forward to in the future.

love Nikki ( starting to find myself again). Xxxx

I'm going on the 23rd for an urgent referral which is ironically the date is was first diagnosed with breast cancer with spread to my lymph nodes . My gp is fairly certain  I have have mets on my ribs and possibly spine . I had a cage built on my cervical spine due to radiotherapy damage and have already got lumber bulging discs.  I told 3 of my 4 children I was going for a referral and all have avoided  all contact apart from an hour visit from my son who works away . Hes not responding since.  They will never talk to me about this and I feel utterly  alone . My ex partner kicked myself and our children out after having a relationship with an ex friend  whilst I was getting over radiotherapy  and starting on tamoxifen  . Tamoxifen  was like a light had been switched off sexually  . Nothing felt like it was working anymore so he found someone that did work . Now I'm faced with bone mets with no obvious sign of anyone that cares.  Life can be a bit *** sometimes 

I've just been diagnosed with Lung Cancer stage 4......for some bizarre reason which I can't explain, yet, I'm ok with it.....BUT absolutely devastated for my 2 adult boys and 4 grandchildren.   When I have had the biopsy results I plan to tell them what it is, what treatment and whatever else is needed to keep them in the loop, so to speak......I'm up t'North, eldest Son lives South and the youngest Son lives abroad.....I did not have children for them to look after me in my old age and my upbringing taught me never to expect anything from anyone, so I will be doing this on my own.  I divorced 29 years ago and am on my own now.   I do believe we are born alone and die alone.  I'm not frightened of dying,  it has always been   the living that has scared the ebejebees out of me.....  The thing that is annoying me is that I've been rubbish with my finances and sorting money for this, but sort of justify my stupidness, which it is, by the fact that I've never ever wanted a funeral,  as such, I've always said I wanted my family to have time together and reminisce, laugh about how daft and annoying I was and hopefully should any wisdom have come out of my mouth,  to use it to continue to have the happy successful lives that they are living now and not be sad but accept.....That we are born, we live, and then we die just a natural thing, not to dwell on the what ifs...people spend too much time on guilty feelings, that to me is a wasted emotion, people should always do their best whilst they have a chance to help people.  I only hope I have done that and left my boys with the knowledge to deal with what they have to, leave alone what they have no control over and the wisdom to know the difference ........Look back if you must, feeling sad about how your life was will not change a thing.  We all have to go through something, even our own Children and they will have their own issues to deal with it is not fair or nice to load other people with our issues, even if you think you can because they are 'Family' it doesn't and shouldn't work that way. Try and enjoy what time you have, please try not to be too sad about things out of your control.....