So very scared

Hi - I have already posted about my bowel cancer scare, and am now waiting to have my colonoscopy in 3 days’ time. As I suffer with anxiety, overthinking, etc - I feel that I am going mad. I keep thinking back to all the symptoms over the past year or so that I attributed to my long-standing IBS, and worrying that they were actually warning signs of bowel cancer (narrow stools, incomplete evacuation). I was reassured when my regular bowel screening check came back normal. But my FIT test showed “large amounts” of occult blood. I keep thinking about someone I know who had no symptoms until she went to A&E with suspected appendicitis - turned out it was a malignant bowel tumour, which had already metastasised to her liver. She died within a year. 

How do I deal with this overwhelming anxiety? I know that no one can tell me what the colonoscopy will find, but I don’t know how to stop myself feeling sure that I too will be dead within a year. I’m 72, so that doesn’t seem far-fetched. 

My GP told me that with my FIT numbers (265) the chances of it being bowel cancer go up to 20%. My husband keeps pointing out that that means an 80% chance that it’s not cancer. But I can only seem to fixate on the worst-case scenario. 

I know there are lots of people here who have gone through similar experiences. How did you get through? I know that after the colonoscopy I’ll have to wait for biopsy results on whatever they find. I can’t imagine another week or two of this overwhelming anxiety. 

  • Awww thank you. That's so reassuring! I feel a bit better today, but last night during the night was not good. Also my stomach at the top is sticking out, it feels like a mass, but not sure it is, it could just be hard tummy.  That sounds horrible hun I haven't had to do a stool sample yet. Still no blood results in, just called doctors and they said to try again later. How long do they usually take? Doctor told me they'd be there today. Just want answers so I can start to get better. My anxiety isn't helping!!

  • I actually spoke to someone about bloods yesterday and basically I was told bloods are done within hours of receipt, it's actually the reading of them that takes time as they have to be reviewed. So I would imagine that if they said they'd be in today then someone must be tasked with reviewing them at some point.  But I was also told (and this is just my personal experience and obviously you may have had different tests) that bloods could not give any kind of definitive diagnosis only highlight areas for further investigation.

  • Yes I was told the same, they said they will be giving me an ultrasound anyway, regardless of blood results. I will keep you posted! 

  • Hi Hun, thought I'd give you an update on today, so i guess it's good news...but not out of the woods yet! Blood results were all fine apart from my Hemoglobin levels which are quite high apparently... not sure what this means? Doc wasn't overly concerned tbh. She just said sometimes it's just that we're a little dehydrated! She done an internal exam up my bum to check for any lumps and all seems fine she said. It feels so sore high up inside but she thinks that is from all the diarreah I've had! The pains she thinks is cos I'm so bloated and blocked up with poo and wind. So she's given me some softening medication to help flush me out. She said the constipation can cause the 24/7 nausea,.. but I can't see how. I don't get it just after eating it's there ALL the time. Anyway she agreed to refer me to a Gastrointestinal Specialist to get an ultrasound and possible colonoscopy too, just to rule anything scary out but she thinks it's all constipation and possible IBS! I asked her about my periods cos they've been bad for the last three months and she said that's seperate to this, it won't be linked, but in my mind it seems weird that I've been suddenly really struggling with my periods AND my bowels around the same sort of time. So she agreed that if the GastoIntestinal Specialist doesn't find anything then she will refer me to Gynaecology. Luckily I have free private medical through BUPA with work so hopefully it should all happen quite quickly! Am certainly feeling better about things but trying not to get too happy and reassured at the moment until I know why my hemoglobin levels are raised and nothing shows up on my scans/colonoscopy! Xx

  • Heh, I think that is probably really good news. What the doctor is saying sounds feasible to me. Constipation does make you feel a bit sick. Stress can affect periods so possibly something is going on there. The best thing is to get the colonoscopy done quickly like I did because that rules out all manner of things. Are they also doing a pelvic utlrasound?

  • Yes they are, I've had a call from the receptionist this morning as I've got to go back and have a vaginal internal to check for any lumps etc as doctor "forgot" to do that yesterday lol! But at least they are being thorough I guess! I just want the scan and colonoscopy etc quickly to rule anything out as it's the anxiety that I hate. I will let you know how my appt goes with the Gastrointestinal specialist xx