Hi Ourturn_1,

Sorry you are on the"limbo" waiting for the results to know if you have one f****** C. The waiting time seems it drives us crazy, all cancer world drive us crazy indeed. But the thing I have learnt is that sometimes things are not so clear and while we don't have confirmation cancer doesn't exist! I had several recurrences and even so I had situations that all seems to indicate cancer again and the results showed no cancer! 

Answearing to your question: the time for the results really depends... I couldn't tell you how long you will wait... I wish you the best results and in case you need we are here to support you!

All my love, S. 

Thanks S, I am trying to forget forget until we get the call but I am a practical person and want to prepare myself so I can "cope"

I understand what you mean by it not exisitng until the results. I will keep repeating to myself!

It is incredibly hard to concentrate at work and work do not know. Lots of things that I need to do but just cant get into it.

Floods of tears yesterday looking at the kid pictures and thinking that they are probably about to go through some really tough times. We have lived in a happy bubble and I feel so guilty.

Thank you for your reply, it really helps to talk.

Hi Outurn_1,

I understand what you are feeling, it's really hard to distract and control your emotions. Can you call to know a date or if they already know? 

"Floods of tears yesterday looking at the kid pictures and thinking that they are probably about to go through some really tough times. We have lived in a happy bubble and I feel so guilty." Even if you find you have a cancer it doesn't mean you will not be happy anymore. Our ideas doesn't match necessarily with the reality and we can't really predict how it would be. And you have absolutely no guilt about what migh happen to you. Don't feel guilty. How it would be of was your husband, would you blame it? 

Maybe would be good to share with your husband your concerns.

All my love S. 

Hi S, though I would update you....catalogue of errors and delays between GP and Hospital, Biopsy results not ready, consultant says someone has made mistake and he will complain on my behalf, big apologies but not helpful when left in limbo.

Consultant thinks lymphoma most likely if not secondary from elsewhere. PET scan appt to be sent, back on to find out on tuesday when results expected.hmmph. The waiting is just torture but does give time to absorb the liklihood

Hi S, well....so the poor service continues..............having not yet been told the diagnosis.... been sent an appointment for the chemotherapy clinic next week :)

I am actually laughing alongside the tears! I am truly fearful of being treated with potent drugs by these bunch of fools. I am wondering if I can quickly get through med school so that I can sort it myself.

Did you ever see faulty towers? I am definitley going to write a diary along the way it is too unbelievable.

Hi Ourturn_1, 

Sorry for my late reply. I hope I'm finding best possible, taking into account the circumstances.

I´ve never seen faulty towers but I'm definitely curious about it :D !

As I told before I'm so sorry you are passim throught all this, the situation is already difficult enough itself... too bad to be decorated by errors and delays.  It's so normal the distrust you are feeling in this team righ now... though it seems counterintuitive, but the truth it does not necessrily mean that after all of it, they can't be good professionals treating you. But a patient should feel that is in good hands, so when you finally have the diagnose of something, you may find helpful ask for a 2nd and a 3rd opinion. 

You seems to a have a great sense of humor and write is absolutely fabulous to help us calm down all the thoughts' tornado! I think a diary or a blog is absolutely a good idea ;) 

Xoxo, S

Oh bless you, I too have a young family and am waiting on a lymphoma diagnosis. No scans yet, but have been told they are almost certain I have it and have had an excision biopsy. I can sympathise with everything you've said, especially about the photos. I can't believe you got a chemo appointment before official diagnosis, that really is quite poor. Take care of yourself.

Good Morning Mrsh and S, Thanks you for your replies, good luck Mrsh84, please double check that things are progressing with tests etc as this NHS system has some good points but some giant craters too!

Today is the day...if they have the results this time. Last time they were not there because somebody didnt press the button to transfer them onto the hospital system and the consultant could not get hold of the histopathologist. I have seen the letter that the oncology consultant wrote with reference to the numerous delays and he seems on the case and also explained the reasons why he feels this is lymphoma rather than a head/neck/chest neoplasm. I am pinning my hopes on this doctor being more competent than the rest (and I prefer his diagnosis).

So, full body scan last night, oncologist this afternoon for the low down and chemo clin thursday. I am feeling stronger today. Lymphoma is a releatively good pick from the cancer lottery. However I know that it may also be an alternative diagnosis or it may be at a late stage. Tissues are ready. A cup of tea will fix all.

Will just be glad to know where we are going with and get on with whatever is we need to do.

Hope all goes well today. If only chasing was as easy as it sounds, the secretaries at my hospital do't answer their phones!