Scared I have first hospital appointment on Thursday

Hi I am a 33 year old single mum. I carry the breast cancer gene. I was ment to have annual mammograms for age 30. I do not have a letter and did not chase it up. Now I wish I had. I went to my doctor 3 weeks ago about a lump I have had in my armpit for 6 weeks. I thought it was just a lymph node. The doctor was very thorough with my examination I now know I have 1 lump in my left breast and 2 in my right. 

 

I am so scared I have my step mum coming with me she is the only one that knows. I just feel alone. Always thinking what if. I am checking my breasts all the time just incase I feel another. 

Sorry to ramble put I have no one to talk to about this and I think my head is going to explode.

  • Hi,

     

    Just wanted to reply and try to offer some support. I have a first appointment at the breast clinic next Monday - hoping it's nothing to worry about but it's such an anxious, scary wait.

    Do you have a friend you could confide in maybe before Thursday so you don't feel so alone? xx

  • Thank you for your reply i have one friend but i do not want it to be all we talk about. It is a scary time and I have so much on at the moment. I just do not know how to start to process this. My mum sister and aunt have all had breast cancer it is just stra6to think I might have to.

  • I think it can be even more scary when you know people who have had breast cancer - especially such close family members. Sorry to hear you have had to already go through that.

    If you need to offload a bit on here, please go ahead x

  • So tomorrow is the day.

     I am so emotional and scared which is not like me. I have been strong for so many other people going through illness and I am falling apart my self. I have been in many situations where I should have fallen apart and haven't. If I am like this now how will I cope if all is not well.

    Sorry to rant just have no one to talk to.

  • You aren't ranting at all, you just be feeling so anxious. And that's completely normal before such an important appointment.

     

    I am feeling very anxious about Monday and I know Sunday night will feel very long and scary.

     

    It sounds like you have been through a lot- not knowing if often worse than when you have all the information because your mind just runs away with you. I've also had some of the worst times in the last few years and when I'm really struggling I always focus on one thing at a time. So don't think about the appointment if possible, it's just get some sleep, get up, have a shower, eat breakfast, drive to the hospital.....just one thing at a time.

     

    Thinking of you xxx