Hey, I’d never been on this forum until recently and I have never left one of these rambley posts before, but I feel like I just need to talk with people who might be going through what I am right now...

so long story... I’m 25. I suffer with severe anxiety and health anxiety. I am gonna be completely honest; I never check my breasts for lumps etc, but about 6-7 weeks ago I randomly checked them and found a small pea sized lump in my right Breast. So to be on the safe side I booked a doctors appointment (even though let’s face it I never check them anyway so it might have just always been there). The doctor was lovely, asked me all the questions about family history, other symptoms and gave me an examination. She felt it and said it was breast tissue and sent me away. A week later I found a lump in my left breast, kind of in my aerola, but I thought I was just being silly and didn’t wanna waste their time so I left it. (Stupid I know). Anyway, flash forward to now (6-7 weeks since my first appointment)I started to notice pain in my left arm pit that radiated down my arm and into my shoulder, I also have an inverted nipple on my left breast but I feel like it’s been A LOT more inverted lately than it ever has been so I thought i should see a doctor again. I went to the doctor and she told me that my left breast looked slightly bigger, thought my nipple retraction was strange, felt the lump and decided that she would book me in for the breast clinic for “peace of mind”... so this appointment was yesterday, and I will be getting a call from the breast clinic within 2 weeks... 

here’s how I’m feeling right now... I have convinced myself that I have breast cancer, and not only that I have it, but that’s it’s spread to my bones as I am getting awful back pain now, radiating up and down my back. And yes, I have done the worst thing possible; Google’d my symptoms ️ Which has just made me panic more... 

part of me is thinking the pain I’m having is from my anxiety, but I can’t help but think I literally have second degree cancer and that I’m gonna die.  

I will also mention that I have been under A LOT of stress these last 1-2 years and about 7 weeks ago I noticed my legs and arms felt really really weak and I had terrible fatigue. I put it down to the stress I have been experiencing and my anxiety so I went to the doctors and she kind of confirmed that it was anxiety and signed my off of work for 2 weeks but because I didn’t address the stress, I didn’t really get better and I’m still like it.  now I can’t help but think that all this fatigue and weakness I have been feeling is because of breast cancer... 

I’m seriously terrified... is the pain and weakness I’m experiencing breast cancer related or anxiety and stress related? ... and the fact I have to wait 2 weeks for an appointment to find out what’s up with my breasts is just terrifying too... knowing that I’m having other side effects... 

sorry for the long post... I’m just so scared and don’t want to worry my partner or family so I haven’t spoken to them about it... I would appreciate any reply... 

thank you ️