Hello, I have been doing exactly what I am not meant to do and searched the internet lots and lots to try and gain insight into the lump I found. My appt is on Friday (found lump late on Wednesday night and saw GP Thursday afternoon, had letter on Monday to call for appt which is in two days time). Everything is moving quickly which I am thankful to the. NHS for but It is also dragging because I am terrified.
I am not scared of the discomfort or pain. I am ok with possibility of losing breasts, hair etc. What absolutely terrifies me is not being here for my 4 children. There are my entire world. I home ed my youngest 3, we co sleep, we are a team. They are all likely Asperger ( one diagnosed and two in process). I just can’t die. I can’t leave them, I need to be there for them. Sorry to be so morbid but it is tearing me up,
Background, I haven’t been right for a few years but put down to tiredness. I natural term nurse, so my youngest still has a little boo at bedtime, although I don’t think there is barely any milk left there. I have been nursing without s break for 11y8m (3 different children) so am used to things like blocked ducts and mastitis. The lump is in my right breast, upper outer quadrant (sorry ex nurse). It is firm and feels like walnut in texture. The breast is a little uncomfortable in a general ache when I press the lump but not painful as such. The lump is easily felt and is fairly large. There is no redness, no discharge, no fever. I am on penicillin just in case. It seems fixed in position.
I have read 90% lumps are non cancerous so I know odds in favour, but equally the alternative is terrifying.
It may be my paternal grandmother had breast cancer although could of been ovarian or breast which mestatised to ovaries. My own dad died due to lung cancer which spread to brain. From diagnosis he died within 3 months and it was harrowing (I was 16).
