Hi Awen

not sure what I can say to make you feel a bit better. Having been diagnosed with breast cancer last year I can relate to the emotions you’re going through - we all let our imaginations run wild and naturally jump to worse case scenario when facing a possible/actual cancer diagnosis and our thoughts turn to our children - all perfectly natural, but I guess your’s will also be compounded by your personal experiences with cancer in the family. I don’t believe the paternal side of the family is relevant when it comes to breast cancer, I certainly wasn’t asked about it - just immediate maternal/siblings.

Its good that they are speeding up the process for you as waiting around worrying is a nightmare.I felt much better once I knew what it was I was dealing with.

There are lots of us breast ladies on here and hopefully some will come along soon to add extra support.

x

Hi Maggie,

Thank you for taking time to answer.  I am doing ok mostly in daytime but nights are far worse.  Have no idea how I will sleep tonight (although my 3 youngest generally keep me up through night anyway).  

I have decided to attend appt alone.  I was going to ask my mother, but I don’t want to create any fuss and also cannot cope with her emotions and pressure.  Today she implied I was too thin for example (healthy bmi and waist and very healthy diet), the other day reference to my natural term nursing.  My husband is being tricky but in all honesty our marriage isn’t as sound as I would hope for and he has a history of not coping with me being less than strong.  

I hope, despite me being solo, the clinic will give me  GP seemed to think they would and appt could be 3-4 hours.  Is that for all the tests? Sorry for garbling on.  Just feel a bit lost and juggling everyone’s emotions around me.

i am sorry you are going through this, it is so kind of you to be on this area of chat supporting new members to this situation.  

My name is Emma x

Hey,

I wanted you to know you're not alone

I went to my gp yesterday and have breast clinic next Tuesday for a large mass (how the gp described it) and my nipple has completely inverted in my right breast. I definitely go through a roundabout of emotions. I think I was hoping my gp would dismiss it but I'm a bit in shock its moving so fast. 

I have 3 young children and I don't dare think about worst case scenario. I think limbo is definitely one of the worst places to be, not knowing and not being able to prepare or plan for anything as theres this big grey cloud above your head. 

Thinking of you! 

Hi Awen,

i know how you are feeling,been there like all us ladies on here.....try not to worry too much,they are all lovely kind understanding staff!!! 

I was shocked when they told me I had breast cancer but didn’t cry as I think it didn’t sink in..... had all the other tests and still didn’t cry.... until after I had my lumpectomy last week....it was so very small and grade 1 but but as you’ve breastfed for so long everything crossed it’s blocked milk ducts lovely ? 

Will be thinking of you tomorrow and everything crossed for you....

Much love xxx

Hi Emma, I'm new here too. I found a lump on Tues and got referred to the clinic and am still waiting for my appointment. 

I hope all goes well at the clinic for you, please keep me posted. You're absolutely right, nights are the worst and I can't stay off Google hoping to find some clues to self diagnose something benign. 

Time seems to slow and I'm really considering asking my GP to make a private referral so I can get the tests done asap. I do have private insurance but everything I've read says let the NHS sort it. It's just that I'd much rather wait 2 days than 2 weeks to know! 

Fx for you Emma, please post soon with some good news

Hi lovely, 

its the night that is far the worst,i now dread going to bed even though I had my operation last week and it’s outvbut still don’t want to go to bed..., 

Will be thinking of you tomorrow and hopefully all will be ok!! Keep in touch 

Much love hugs for tomorrow Jackie xx

Hi emma

i found the nights the worse too as at least I could go out during the day and walk the tension off. I went alone to my screening, I didn’t tell anyone I was going as I prefer to do things by myself, I didn’t need nor want the complications others can bring - however well intentional they are.

There were about 20 of us in one room, I think only one woman brought support. However her support buddies were not alllowed in with her so I failed to see the point of support being there. Out of the 20, 3 of us went on to have biopsies taken, so the majority were given the all clear.

I had my mammograms and was then taken into another room to be further examined and given an ultrasound, I was then shown my mammogram pictures and had a discussion with the consultant radiologist on findings. I knew then what I had but would have to wait for biopsy results in order to get to the grade.

the biopsies took about a hour as I had to have both breasts biopsied. So most of the time was spent waiting around and I was in there for a total of three hours.The results came back 7 days later and confirmed what I already knew.

im sorry to hear about your mother and husband’s lack of support, I can understand where your coming from in relation to your husband, my brother in law is the same, whenever my sister is ill - he packs her a bag and sends her off to us to take be taken care off. Though he’s always there for her for the good times but just can’t cope with the bad.. not a bad man - just a weak one.

Thank goodness for strong woman like us eh

and you are strong, try and block out the negativity around you, all that matters is you. 

Im more than happy to be on here, paying back the support that I got from the lovely ladies on here who supported me through it all. Being diagnosed and treated for cancer did not turn my life upside down, I got through it relatively unscathed and moved on with my life.

I’m really hoping that you will be one of those women who get the all clear and can walk away knowing they don’t have cancer.

always here if needed x

Hi ladies, it is reassuring that i am not alone but sorry for all of you walking this path too. 

How are you post op Jackie? I read that you cant drive, lift stuff etc. Thanks for kind words.  I have my 3 small people iny bed (big family one) so it is a comfort being near them.

Kez - I have private med insurance too. Depending on diagnosis we may go private. I don't think care pathway is different but be easier in terms of any admission.  I struggle with texture, noise, anxiety and being in hospital.  I hope you hear soon for appt. I was seen on Thursday, had letter Monday to call.

Mich - sorry you're going through this.  I thought the results were same day (and week for biopsy). 2 weeks seems so long.  Hugs to you, sorry it wasn't all clear for you x

Jackie - really hoping it is just a blocked duct/breast cyst too.  Feels like a walnut! So grateful for internet in that we can virtually reach out and support too xx

Lizzie - sorry you are going through this too. Hard to step away from Dr Google.  In a way the kids keep me occupied and mind busy, but then a start blubbing.  Sending hugs and good wishes xx

Hi Maggie,

Thank you, that is really helpful knowing a little of what to expect.  So they should be able to tell from mammogram and/or scan if it is just a cyst for example? That is good to know.  If they take a biopsy then odds are it is cancer? But the grade unclear?

Yes your BIL sounds like my husband.  Dreading leaving him with the small ones as they can be a challenge (ASD). 

I was climbing Ben Nevis a few months ago with just my 3 littlest people (my eldest was working), seems crazy that I could be ill.

I am going to try and take my mind off by painting up some orders (I make peg dolls etc) and *** tv (and ignoring husband )

Much love xx