Hi All

I’ve been hovering around on here for a while now. Have been feeling hesitant about posting because it’s perhaps another thing that makes this whole situation feel very real when I’m still in shock about it all and just want it to go away and to go back to my old life

Im a 34 year old mum of 2.  My youngest is just 18 months old and I don’t have any breast, ovarian or cervical cancer in my family.  

On 11th June I went to my GP with a lump in my left breast. I didn’t think much of it. Had recently stopped breast feeding my son and had had a lump in my breast during my pregnancy that went away in a couple of weeks. GP said probably something to do with breastfeeding. She also said it felt like a fibrodenoma and She referred me to the breast clinic just to be sure. 

I went to the breast clinic on the 19th July, on my own, still not thinking much of it all.  I had a physical examination by a consultant who said he was very confidently that it was a cysts.  He then sent me for a ultrasound to confirm and get it drained.  The whole mood of the visit changed once the ultrasound began.  The radiologist / radiographer (I’m now such which one she was) looked very serious and after what felt like a million photos and about 10 mins of prodding and probing with the ultrasound she said she’d like me to have a biopsy and a mammogram.  I started to feel worried but still not yet thinking the worst as I knew from my research that they’d have to do that for any solid mass that wasn’t obviously a cyst.  

Anyway - to cut a long story short. I went back to the consultant I started with and he said “I’m so shocked because you don’t have cancer in your family”. He then said “we have your results from the mammogram and the ultrasound and they’re very concerning”.  I asked him what he meant by very concerning and if that meant cancer and his words were “yes, it’s very likely to be cancer.” He then explained that they rank the findings from the mammogram and ultrasound out of 5. With 5 being the worst and he said that my mammogram was rated a 4 and the ultrasound was a 5!!!  He said the ultrasound was more reliable also because of my age and the fact that women under 40 have more dense breast tissue.  He then said “don’t worry. We will treat you”.  I don’t think I could have left that consulting room any faster. 

Initially I was devastated. I then reflected on what the consultant said, spoke to a few friends and family members, had a brief look on forums and googled stuff and started to feel a bit better. I tried to remind myself that most of these things turn out to be nothing.   However, I then remembered the fact that he had said the ultrasound and mammogram were 5 and 4 out of 5.   I then looked up that grading system and called MacMillan for clarity and that’s when I found out that 5 on an ultrasound means 95% likelihood if cancer.  I’ve also since had a letter confirming what they found.  A 18mm hypoechoic, irregular and spiculated lesion. 

I don’t even know why I’m posting this as I feel I’ve lost all hope of this being something benign. Keep reading posts about people waiting for results and trying to have a similar level of hope but very few people seem to have been told their ultrasound and mammogram were 4 or 5. 

I get my results this Friday. Was hoping to try for another baby this year and I’m now feeling all kinds of terrible. I’ve been given a prescription for Valium as I just wasn’t coping. Kept looking at my little boy and feeling very emotional.