I am sorry to hear about your Mum, you feel in limbo until all the tests are done and they can sit you down with a treatment plan. You have a loving family and your Mum will have all the support in the world.  Do let us know how you get on.  I have found talking about my fears in the chats have really helped me, talking to strangers is often easier than with people you know .  Wishing the very best. Lyn xx

Hi Sarah, Sorry to read your post. I have had bowel cancer twice over the last 5 years so I know exactly how you are all feeling right now. The colonoscopy will confirm and then they will sort out a plan of action and get cracking. I was lucky as it was only in the bowel both times although now I live in fear! The first time I had part of my bowel removed and that was it, the second time it came back on the joining where they had joined the large and small bowel, this time they removed more but I still have some left so no stoma. I had chemo the second time, 4 rounds. I didn't loose my hair as that chemo didn't have that side effect.You will be surprised how strong you turn out to be.My daughters were 22 and 24 when I was first diagnosed, speak to Macmillan if you need to, don't keep it all inside. Also ring the colorectal nurses if you have any concerns, they are like guardian angels. Sending love to all your family, the weeks pass by and treatment gets working. All you can do is be there for your Mum, it's tough for all of you right now. xxx

Thank you for your reply, 

Im sorry you had to go through this awful thing twice. It’s so hard, your two daughters must be so strong! They are amazing.

im thankful that she went into the hospital straight away, it’s just hard because last week she was fine!

im scared as I read these story’s about how when the cancer spreads it’s harder to cure.

I’m hoping that they can use chemo to shrink the cancer on her liver to operate but we can’t rush these things I know, I just need to be supportive for her until next week for her colposcopy.

thank you for taking your time to reply, im wishing you well, and wishing your daughters well too!

sarah x

Thank you, you will be surprised at how strong you turn out to be. I can only speak from my experience as a wife and Mum but although at the time it's awful for all of you, I sort of think it's worse for the close family. I was asleep for 5 hours during the second op and about 3 first time. They went through every agonising minute waiting for news of when I was out of theatre, I then was doped up on morphine for the next few days and again they were the ones who saw me in the high dependency ward with every wire, machine and mask attached to me.Before surgery I found I was trying to get everything done, I gave the house a good clean, stocked up on food, toilet rolls,washing liquid etc to make it easier for everyone. I joined a group at my local hospital, living with and beyond cancer, giving our views along with Macmillan to how we can make a difference to cancer patients tough journey. Lots are lucky and are survivors, some have to live with the cancer but it can be kept under control. I am the worst now for thinking the worst everytime I have an ache or pain, I'm straight to the Dr's and my Dr understand why i'm like this. My theory is, if there is something serious, catch it early and it's easier to treat. I'll be thinking of you all. Let me know how your Mum goes on and tell her I'll be thinking about her. If last week she was fine, that's a good sign too. xx