This is my worry, I am so health anxiety oriented that I am just worrying about that I have cancer and I'm riddled....How else do I feel so *** and weak.  This is how my thoughts are, I'm trying so much to not worry, but because I  feel so weak and crap I think the worst! I'm only 43.... I am so bloody scared.

Purrfect, I'm hoping you have good news and you can stop worrying x

Hi Jo

I’ve worried for years about having/getting cancer as both my parents died from the disease. So much so that I never went near a doctor for years, my fear was so bad. Even though I was unwell, in pain and clearly wasn’t well, I still wouldn’t go because my anxiety was so bad. Eventually I was forced to as I was supposed to be going on holiday and knew I needed to find out what was wrong with me before attempting a very long haul flight, well 2 flights actually. 

So, I didn’t get on holiday, but I did find out I had cancer. The relief I felt when I was told it hadn’t spread was amazing!! I was crying with happiness about that! 

It’s ok to be scared, but try not to let the fear consume you. I thought there would be nothing they could do for me I would be so far gone, but that wasn’t the case at all and I realised I’d wasted a lot of time worrying about things I shouldn’t have worried about. But I understand the fear. My doctor prescribed tablets for my anxiety the very first time she saw me and I’ve been on them ever since. I find them very helpful.

Spending time being fearful and anxious also affects your physical well being I found. Try to find some distractions to keep your mind from going into overdrive. xx

We all have bad days purrfect- it’s very understandable. I wish I’d found this forum when I was in your position. I felt very lonely, even though I am married, and it would have been good to connect with people who could understand my fear, and offer some support. Now I try to help others where I can because I know what this is like, the fear, the waiting, all of it. You’re not a wimp-everything you are feeling is completely normal. It can be hard to process the speed of things happening, but remember that’s a good thing. You’re going to know soon just what’s happening. I really wish wish I could give you a big hug, but since I can’t, let me send one to you through cyberspace. xx

Cyberspace working - felt the hug. Thankyou it meant a lot. I think it's great you're on this site giving such good advice/support. You've been there & it does help hearing from someone who's been thro it all. I'm sure I'm not the only one who appreciates it. 

Hug returned & a couple xxx for good measure.

Purrfect