Hello everyone! 

I've been asking myself for about a week now. Short story my fiance looked at a mole on a Sunday night (almost a week ago ) and said that there's white dots on a mole that I've had on my upper arm since I was a child. I'm in my 20s now. It's always been dark brown but not black or anything too dark. Very round and normal size. The white dots are very weird and it's hard to explain without posting a picture but imagine that your mole lost pigment and now u can see your actual skin colour in it . That is the best most accurate I can describe. 

Since then I've been worried about other moles that I have ignored . I do not have many moles but most of them and the biggest ones are on my back. Those are quite dark as well. All of them acquired as a child. I should mention I had moles removed when I was about 12 because they were quite big and ugly. 3 on the side of my abdomen and 3 on the back. After that I was left with normal moles. Aka not the size of a pea. 

Because I'm very stressed about my arm I started stressing about my back too. One mole in particular is quite big but otherwise very symmetrical and normal looking. It seems to have 2 shades of brown.  The centre is darker and then there's like a halo around which is light brown. I keep digging into my memory cause I don't know if it's always been like that . I was a pure ignorant for years . I thought moles are moles and ever since I was a teenager I avoided sun out of principal. I can say that I'm not the kind of person who had a godly amount of sun exposure. I probably got too little during my teen years and after that.

Pretty much every mole bothers me so much right now that I see cancer everywhere. I'm becoming a paranoid . I started taking contraceptive 1 year and 8 months ago. Stopped them yesterday because I never liked how my body went on with them. I feel like my body has been rejecting them ever since I started but I stayed on them cause it's so simple to pop a pill in. The thing is I never got new moles or freckles after my child years but after I started the pill I kept seeing new freckles in different places.  I remember for a while I was like 'oh is this a new one ?' . I was so surprised and since I never paid much attention to moles or freckles I never knew if they are new or old . I just let them live. Also they did not appear in the summer only and like I said I avoid sun by not going out much. I never got new ones on my legs or face or back. Just the sides of my abdomen and my arms. And a very small one on my neck. Some are darker than the others but they never grew in size and they are symmetrical and 1 colour. 

I am obviously scared that I have had cancer for so long now and my body tried to show me and I ignored it. But also what if the new freckles are due to hormonal changes ? Is it a coincidence it started happening after I started the pill? 

I have days when I'm fine and optimistic and days when I just cry because I think I will die. Tomorrow I have a GP appointment but I don't think it will do much for my moral. They don't usually have equipment to properly look. Or at least I've never seen any. I just hope they will refer me to a dermatologist next week. The following Saturday after the GP appointment I'm going on holiday. It would be crucial for me to see a dermatologist during the next week otherwise I will have to wait until end of June when I come back and I worry things will get worse. I think the sooner I get treated the better. 

Any help,  advice ? Feel free to talk from your own experience. I tried to google white dots on a mole...I found literally nothing .