hi I just see your post because it just posted one myself about subungual melanoma. I too am a single parent and very worried about my daughter if I do have cancer,  She is only 8. I know the feeling you are experiencing so you are not alone for sure. I know it seems cliche but you must remain focused on other things until you know what is what, because you will make your situation twice as bad and that will not help you. At least you can see your mole and that is to your advantage, take a photo of it and keep a eye on any change. Your not alone so we can be strong together.

Hi Alex,

I'm sorry you are waiting for a dermatologist appointment and that the worry is causing you anxiety. The good thing is that you have seen your GP as soon as you noticed a change so you have caught it quickly. Your GP is also knowlegeable about moles and has been quick to refer you. One reason for the subtle change in your mole may be your recent pregnancy. The change in hormones can sometimes affect moles and freckles and on most occasions they tend not to be serious changes but they need to be monitored for a time. Hopefully yours will fall into this category. If the change is serious, don't panic. Treatment is moving quickly all the time for cancerous moles and it's much more optimistic for a good outcome than it was several years ago. 

Your appointment will come around soon but try and distract yourself to take your mind off the interminable wait. Try not to look on the pessimistic side, especially as you want to be sharing happy times with your new baby. I know many people who were dignosed with a cancerous mole when their children were very young and they are still fit and healthy as their children are leaving school and going to university so you not being here for your little one is not a done deal by any stretch of the imagination! Good luck and please let us know how you get on,

Angie (melanoma patient)

Hey lovely! 

I guess were in the same boat worrying about our babies. It’s scary stuff and my husband .. ex husband is useless. He had what seemed like a breakdown after he did what he did and I don’t trust her in his care as he panics .. so the thought of not being around her terrifies me! 

Whats your situation lovely? 

Hey there,

thank you for that. It’s weird I can’t say I remember it being so dark during pregnancy but then tbf I don’t think I walked around naked much you know?  I’m not really lke that so I probably wouldn’t have seen it or noticed it. Which frightens me. .. 

I am trying to stay positive but find it hard with other things going on it’s almost icing on the cake you know? 

Whats your story lovely?

alex

Hi Alex,

Sometimes moles change during or shortly after pregnancy so your's may have changed once your little one was born. My niece, who was under the dermatologist for a previous dodgy mole, had a mole on her tummy that the derm kept an eye on during & after her pregnancy. She explained how hormoned can affect the skin and cause changes or new marks to appear!

I was diagnosed Stage 1 melanoma 22 years ago (age 39) after a mole turned black on my shin. I thought I was clear but it returned, having travelled and spread 13 years later. It was in the nodes in my groin & pelvis but I'm still here, free of cancer, almost 10 years later. Since then new treatments have been found and patients have a lot better prognosis than years ago. Anyway, don't jump into worrying about the future just yet, hopefully yours will be fine.

Angie

Thank you for your reply angie,

i was sitting thinking would things things not show up in blood tests during pregnancy if there were issues there etc. Or do I sound so stupid.

this comes at an awful time as my husband walked out two months after she was born etc and it’s like icing on the cake this year already.

i am finding it so hard not to worry. I hate it. 

So so what did they do to get rid of yours second time round?

regards 

alex

Hi Alex,

No question is stupid - it's always good to ask about things that are worrying you. I'm afraid melanoma doesn't show up in blood tests though - they are still researching the marker to look for!

It's often the case that things happen when life is already under strain. I hope you have a support network to help you both practically and emotionally while you deal with this.

The second time around I had surgery to remove all the lymph nodes in my groin and some in my pelvis. This was to remove the affected nodes and any surrounding ones. My consultant obviously did a brilliant job of stopping it in it's tracks as I'm still cancer free all these years later.

You don't have long to wait for your appointment now so try not to fret too much. I know it's easier said than done but I learned that fretting only makes life harder to cope with and it won't change anything. Fingers crossed for you x 

Hi Alex,

Dermatologists shouldn't commit themselves until the biopsy is done as the biopsy is the only way to properly diagnose melanoma. So your dermatologist could think it's probably fine but wouldn't want to raise your hopes in case it came back positive. My dermatologist is one of the very few I know that pins her colours to the past and will say if she thinks it's a problem - and she's been right every time  - whilst others I've seen would not commit themselves, even when they turned out to be benign! So don't read anything into your dermatologist's reticence. 

Your friend was extremely lucky to have hers done the same day. It rarely happens because a theatre and staff have to be available (unlike basal cell skin cancer where a punch biopsy or scrape can be done in the dermatologist's surgery). 

So I'm afraid it's another waiting game for your surgery appointment. Hopefully it will be well within the 4 weeks so just try and keep busy and distract yourself. Good luck and please let us know how you get on,

Angie x