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Health anxiety is killing me!!!

Rani1811
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Hi there, 

For the past few months I’ve been having a range of symptoms and I’m scared it could be something serious. I don’t mean to offend anyone on the cancer chat who have been diagnosed and I am deeply sorry and wish you all the best. I am just so scared of becoming ill and dying and it’s taking over my life! Please bear with me as this post is going to be a long one!

It started a few months ago in December when I noticed my right eye felt different and my vision felt weird and blurry. I also started getting really bad headaches at the same time, like a clamp squeezing my head. I immediately went to my opticians and a minor eye injury unit and everything was normal. I panicked myself into thinking I was going blind and didn’t believe what the opticians said. It got to the point where I was constantly checking my eyes by covering each of them up and seeing what I could see. Ultimately I ended up stressing myself out to the point where I experienced depersonalisation/de realisation feelings and that was terrifying! Nothing looked or felt real but thankfully it went away after 2 weeks. I still had my awful everyday constant headaches and went back to the GP where they said it was chronic tension headaches.

A few weeks later I started experiencing dizzy bouts but almost like when you’re drunk and feel really unsteady, this happened till the point I actually fell over! I also started realising my memory wasn’t as sharp and I couldn’t pronounce certain words like consistency! I went back to the GP and told them about this and he said it was stress but I insisted a blood test (FBC, glucose, iron, vitamin D, thyroid, kidney, liver) everything came back normal except my white blood cell count was borderline and liver enzyme level was quite high. But I felt fine until now.

Now for the past two weeks, I’ve been experiencing headaches again but they feel different to my tension headaches, joint pain in my wrists/fingers/ankles/knees/hips/elbows, constant unsteadiness, pain in left side of neck (also neck lump), pain in left shoulder/arm and back, burning/tingling feeling in arm/shoulder/chest/upper back along the spine, shortness of breath and coughing. 

I went to the GP where he said I had sinusitis due to my nose being blocked and anxiety and said I should visit a chiropractor. The second GP I went to referred me for an ultrasound on my neck and also said I have anxiety causing my symptoms and said I should visit a physiotherapist for my pain and also gave me a leaflet for counselling. I do have a vitamin D definciency which the GP said could explain my joint pain but I just don’t believe that all my symptoms are being caused by anxiety and I think it’s important to explore the other medical possibilities before putting the blame on anxiety.

I am so scared that I might have a brain tumour that may have spread to my neck/lungs/bones as my shoulder and arm hurts on and off and I get a weird tingling burning sensation on the same arm. It could just be health anxiety since it got triggered due to my eye problem and I just can’t seem to focus on anything else besides how I’m feeling and I’m constantly googling which comes up with all the stuff I’ve mentioned above. I just need some reassurance and advice on how to deal with this. I’m only 19 and I’m not ready to die or accept death and these symptoms have become so debilitating. I’m crying almost every day and I feel stuck and trapped.

thank you for taking the time to read this post as I know it is long but I just needed to share my story. Thank you so much, I really appreciate it. 

  • Offline in reply to claire11111

    Hi Claire, it sounds like you might be better off changing doctors! No one should ever be dismissive of your concerns about your health. I too struggle with anxiety, and had a hard time getting help with it initially until I went to my third doctor at my practice who actually listened, and put me on medication. Unfortunately she left the practice and I had to start all over again finding the right doctor when I started to deal with my current issues. He was so lovely and helpful, took the time to listen to all of my concerns, and there were a few, some that I now know looking back were caused by my high anxiety at the time, but he didn't dismiss my symptoms. Instead he said we'd investigate the most worrying and possibly urgent ones, and said that once we'd got those dealt with we could go back and deal with the other things I was experiencing. Please don't let one doctor put you off getting the help you need. 

  • Offline in reply to seektheinfinite

    Thank you, at first I thought maybe this is what I need someone to be firm and not feed my anxiety as he's the professional and maybe I need that but then the last 3 weeks I've been suffering fatigue, dizzy spells and back pain, and was not offered an appointment all dismissed and turns out I've got kidney stones, it made me feel slightly overlooked

  • Offline

    Hi Rani, I fully understand your concerns as I worry myself about my health as I've got older. I'd like you to think about you health from the perspective of your age. At 19 the chances of being diagnosed with a terminal illness is so slim. Statistics suggest younger people can be diagnosed with cancer however it's very low if you you take into consideration that out of 66.7 million Uk residents only 88,000 of your age group are diagnosed. These statistics suggest that your risk factor is so low you are more likely to win the lottery. Furthermore as an ex nurse I would suggest that some of the symptoms you are experiencing is due to panic and stress. I'd say get lumps and bumps looked at but usually it's nothing. My daughter had a lump in her neck, she's the same age as you and she had an ultrasound and it' was just small non cancerous growth. Our bodies are complex and sometimes nodules, lumps and other new bits may come up on us. I have now skin tags, it's an aging thing. Perfectly natural for my age. The pains you are experiencing are probably due to the level of anxiety you are feeling and as you probably know when you go into a fear response your body reacts to that. At your age your probability of getting something serious is so slim. Wish I was your age again! Try to tell the imposter in your thoughts that statistics suggest your at the best time in your life so it's to be enjoyed. I know it's easy to say but please keep reaffirming that the likely hood is low and have confidence that you will be well as time passes by. 
     

    Best Wishes 

    marie

  • Offline

    Hi again Rani, Just a thought. Have the Drs spoken to you about antidepressants? Sertraline is an amazing drug for perceived health issues. It treats the anxiety you are feeling and it helps you think more logically about your worry. I find it works very well for people who are troubled by their thoughts. 
     

    marie

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