Hi there,
For the past few months I’ve been having a range of symptoms and I’m scared it could be something serious. I don’t mean to offend anyone on the cancer chat who have been diagnosed and I am deeply sorry and wish you all the best. I am just so scared of becoming ill and dying and it’s taking over my life! Please bear with me as this post is going to be a long one!
It started a few months ago in December when I noticed my right eye felt different and my vision felt weird and blurry. I also started getting really bad headaches at the same time, like a clamp squeezing my head. I immediately went to my opticians and a minor eye injury unit and everything was normal. I panicked myself into thinking I was going blind and didn’t believe what the opticians said. It got to the point where I was constantly checking my eyes by covering each of them up and seeing what I could see. Ultimately I ended up stressing myself out to the point where I experienced depersonalisation/de realisation feelings and that was terrifying! Nothing looked or felt real but thankfully it went away after 2 weeks. I still had my awful everyday constant headaches and went back to the GP where they said it was chronic tension headaches.
A few weeks later I started experiencing dizzy bouts but almost like when you’re drunk and feel really unsteady, this happened till the point I actually fell over! I also started realising my memory wasn’t as sharp and I couldn’t pronounce certain words like consistency! I went back to the GP and told them about this and he said it was stress but I insisted a blood test (FBC, glucose, iron, vitamin D, thyroid, kidney, liver) everything came back normal except my white blood cell count was borderline and liver enzyme level was quite high. But I felt fine until now.
Now for the past two weeks, I’ve been experiencing headaches again but they feel different to my tension headaches, joint pain in my wrists/fingers/ankles/knees/hips/elbows, constant unsteadiness, pain in left side of neck (also neck lump), pain in left shoulder/arm and back, burning/tingling feeling in arm/shoulder/chest/upper back along the spine, shortness of breath and coughing.
I went to the GP where he said I had sinusitis due to my nose being blocked and anxiety and said I should visit a chiropractor. The second GP I went to referred me for an ultrasound on my neck and also said I have anxiety causing my symptoms and said I should visit a physiotherapist for my pain and also gave me a leaflet for counselling. I do have a vitamin D definciency which the GP said could explain my joint pain but I just don’t believe that all my symptoms are being caused by anxiety and I think it’s important to explore the other medical possibilities before putting the blame on anxiety.
I am so scared that I might have a brain tumour that may have spread to my neck/lungs/bones as my shoulder and arm hurts on and off and I get a weird tingling burning sensation on the same arm. It could just be health anxiety since it got triggered due to my eye problem and I just can’t seem to focus on anything else besides how I’m feeling and I’m constantly googling which comes up with all the stuff I’ve mentioned above. I just need some reassurance and advice on how to deal with this. I’m only 19 and I’m not ready to die or accept death and these symptoms have become so debilitating. I’m crying almost every day and I feel stuck and trapped.
thank you for taking the time to read this post as I know it is long but I just needed to share my story. Thank you so much, I really appreciate it.
