Cancer Research UK main site

Melanoma

Purrdy
Offline

hi 

i went to the hospital with a friend who has just been seen as an urgent referral. I’ve seen this large mole and a lesion on his back it’s changed recently. I’ve looked on line and I can see it’s bad 

the soc said he wants to take it out and then it will be biopsied and the results will determine what further action is needed,

im terrified I’m going to lose this person he is my dearest closest friend 

I love him so much and he appears to be somewhat 

unconcerned but I think I’m reality he is because his mum died of it

hiw can I help him 

  • Offline

    Hi Purdy,

    You are already helping him by learning all you can in case he receives a diagnosis of melanoma. Meanwhile he may appear unconcerned because he either doesn't want to think about it until he knows what it is it it hasn't yet sunk in. 

    Can I suggest that you only research websites like this one, Macmillan and Melanoma UK which give good information. Treatment for melanoma is progressing all the time so don't despair. Hopefully the results won't be as bad as you expect. Be there for your friend, go with them for their results of they agree and remember everything the consultant says because your friend will definitely forget all they are told. Please let us know how your friend gets on. Good luck,

    Angie (melanoma patient)

  • Offline

     

    Hi Purrdy,

    Welcome to our community, although I'm sorry for the reason that you're here. Please try not to worry too much about this, as you cannot be certain that this is sinister until the lesion is biopsied. I was recently sent for biopsies on my face and leg, which 3 doctors had been sure were cancerous. Fortunately, both were clear.

    By all means support your friend in getting this out, but there is no point in worrying until you know the pathology results, as this won't change anything.  If the worst comes to the worst, there are many treatments for melanoma, depending on how advanced it is.

    Try not to think of losing him, but stay by his side and support him through this. I lost my own mum to cancer 21 years ago and have had 2 bouts of breast cancer in the past 9 years myself. I know that we were both terrified at times and, I am sure that your friend is more concerned than he is letting on. Can you accompany him to his appointments? It is also helpful to draw up a list of questions for his consultant. Perhaps you could help him to draw up a list before each appointment?

    Probe gently and see if he will reveal his innermost feelings, speak openly about surgery, tests and results.

    I sincerely hope that the outcome will be much more favourable than you expect it to be, but if the worst turns out to be the case, treatments have improved immensely in the past few years and, many people who have had melanoma, still continue to live a full and fruitful life for years to come.

    Do please let us know how he gets on. We are always here for you.

    Kind regards,

    Jolamine xx

Speak to a nurse

Quick links

Follow us

Registered with Fundraising Regulator (logo)
Cancer Research UK is a registered charity in England and Wales (1089464), Scotland (SC041666), the Isle of Man (1103) and Jersey (247). A company limited by guarantee. Registered company in England and Wales (4325234) and the Isle of Man (5713F). Registered address: 2 Redman Place, London, E20 1JQ.