Hello best foot forward (pardon my altering your name!).  From reading your post I suspect that your doctor is unsure of what is happening and has referred you for testing to be carried out so.s/he can rule things out as much as anything.  It must sound very frightening and I hope you don't have to wait too long for the tests and the results.   I can understand it doesn't help to have your family sounding as though they are already measuring you up for the undertaker!  Have you tried to explain to them about the effect this is having on you?  Having sadly cared for too many people who were seriously ill I know that they don't want to be treated like this.  If it helps and if you want to please keep us informed of your appointment date and what you are going through.  Annie

Hi there...

Well it's really scary waiting for tests ... but that Dr was taking your concerns seriously ... it was probly just as scary being told it's o.k and did nothing .... at least now your getting the tests that will tell you exactly what your dealing with ... everyone with symptom is put on a two week refural ... if they said it was months down the line, you'd have had longer to wait ..

Most refurals turn out to be something else ..  and you just may be worrying over nothing ... we have all been where you are now .. and yes it's really hard , but hold on till you get results .. and if it is positive, you've caught it early .. and you'll find lots of support on here ...

So keep as busy as poss ... do everything to keep from thinking to much .. don't Google, they always give you worse case sinarios .... and if your loved ones see you managing the situation ... they will feel calmer too .. it's about being scared witless but still facing it ... you can do this ...

Let us know how you go ... fingers all crossed for a good result ..

Chrissie x

Thank you Annie 

I’m currently sat waiting for the post to come to see if the appointments coming this morning in a way I hope it never comes and I can bury my head in the sand but that won’t change anything just feel like time has stopped and everything is going in a blur 

I don't think you need me to tell you that burying your head in the sand doesn't work!  The nasty thoughts have a bad habit of rising to the surface and you are always aware of them lurking in the background anyway.  Crossing everything for you.  Annie

Hey chrissie 

thank you, I just want to curl up and switch off at the moment and I’m only on day 2 of waiting, is love to try and keep busy but I can’t focus, every tingle twitch and movement in my body is scaring me is this the feeling of my body being taken over from cancer? These are the thoughts that go through my mind. I’ve never had much luck in life and I fell i will either go in and it will be all this worry for nothing or it will be the worst it can be and they will be giving me my death sentence, and I know it is stupid to freak out like this but I’ve just met the most amazing man and we are building our own house now I feel like I’m going to have to say goodbye to him and it’s consuming me all my thoughts are, then I breath and try and bring myself back again I bury it in the back of my mind for a few mins and I feel better again until it pops up again, sorry I guess I’m using talking to you to get things off my chest, so hard to be possitive 

Hi there ..

You can vent on here as much as you like ... it often helps just writting down how you feel ... l know how scary it is .. my first 4 call backs from mamorgrams got me as scared as you are now .. I know that feeling waiting for someone to either say ... it's cancer and life turns upside down or no itsnot cancer , it's treatable ... and every one of those call backs were scary ... but on all those occasions it was something else ..if I could go back in time to talk to my self I'd have said, no amount of worrying will make the outcome different .. weather I'd have listened to myself is debatable ...

So remember there so many people know coz we've been there ... Chrissie x

I keep telling myself not to worry and sometimes it works, i guess I just want to no what’s what then I can sort out what’s what I guess it’s just that horrid waiting game and feeling like I’ve let down my family which I no is stupid I didn’t ask for this but I feel like a burden and I’m a terrible person for making my family go through this, I hate having irrational thoughts, are there any tips on keeping the mind possitive and busy? X

When I was waiting for my masectomy ... I was sure I wouldn't get through as lots of other heath issues .. I asked my Dr for a mild anti depressant ... they gave me dosulepin for just short term till after op .. it took away the really scary thoughts and I was fine even on day of op ... and stopped them shortly after .. they were a life saver for me .. just took them early morning afternoon and hour before sleep ..

Worth a try if your feeling overwhelmed ... Chrissie  ...