I’m so sorry you are going through this.  Waiting is the worst.  I was waiting this time last week and the not knowing is the worst part.  

I can feel you you beating yourself up about lifestyle choices.  I’m sure we all do that - I know I did.  It is what it is and we are here.  Please stop thinking about the past. The past is an anchor  it holds us back.  The journey ahead may be tough but you will be supported.  From a shivering wreck to finding this site I know I have friends who care and are truly there for me.  I haven’t known them long and don’t know who they are. What I do know is I can trust and believe every one of them.  If you feel down and don’t know where to go come here x

Hiya mazzyb1.  Don't get ahead of yourself.  Nobody has told you what happens if it is cancer because it appears - you don't give a lot of information - that there is no reason to believe it is cancer at this moment in time.  And nobody deserves to get cancer!  So don't run  yourself down.  I think it is not uncommon to do a bit of bargaining with god or whoever if you fear you have a serious illness but cancer doesn't care whether you are a good person or not so don't let yourself think your lifestyle is going to make a difference.  What have you been told by the doctor who treated you - by which I mean are they awaiting the results of tests on the lump that was removed?  I am sorry you are going through this worry - do let us know what is happening.  Best wishes.  Annie

Hi there ..

Cancer or maybe not ... isn't because you've lived a "non productive selfish life" as you put it .. even new born babies can be born with it .. and all the children that it effects, are just starting out on life ... it can touch any one ... 

But we have all done the waiting game ... and we know how scary that is .. we've been there ... and trust me everything to do with cancer is about waiting ... 

I'm really hoping yours will be o.k .. and if it is, you can change your non productive life for the better .. you can look at life differently .. be kinder to yourself and others .. you can make a difference .... the past is gone but it's never to late to change ...

And if it is positive, you'll find people on here that will help you through ...Chrissie x