Hi Polly,

I'm so glad to hear that you have followed your boss and, that you too are all clear. The two of you can really celebrate now!

I'm also glad that you have bucked the family trend with cancer and, hope that you continue to do this for the rest of your days.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx

Hey Polly, I have accepted your friend request, please feel free to message me any time you want to. 

And thank you so much! I'm usually called bonkers so bubbly is a good upgrade I suppose I just still try to see the positive in everything. I just wish I could do more for my Mum, because being bedbound myself it just feels like I'm not doing what I should be all of the time, but I try my best to do the most I can. 

Oh my gosh your Mum sounds just like mine! Haha, my mum is doing just that! I have her a cherry yogurt the other day, she's always loved the cherry ones more than any other flavour, but the other day when she tried it and decided it tasted like 'nothing just felt like mush' she said she never had really liked the cherry anyway, which just made me smile like you! Haha. Anything with salt on she can taste so actually enjoys, and she's had her third chemo on Wednesday, which they lowered in strength, and it hasn't knocked her about half as much as that horrible second one! I'm exactly the same as you- as long as she eats something, I don't care what it is! Haha. She's always loved her desserts, so I ordered from a dessert shop on Tuesday, so I knew she would have had something to eat before chemo, and also the chocolate bar milkshakes I thought would be handy to get her for the calories alone, so it doesn't feel like she's actually eating, but kinda is if that makes sense haha. But she ate a Crepe with bananas and peanut butter and chocolate goodies galore, a waffle basket full of ice cream and chocolate sauces, and had a Ferraro Rocher milkshake and she could taste them all like normal, so I was happy. 

I hope you're getting on okay, you're a star, and seem like such an amazing person. 

Lots of love, 

Alexia xxxx

I just read this, I'm so happy that they came back as none cancerous! I'm glad you got checked over, and I'm also glad that the hospital are going to be keeping a closer eye on you from now on! 

Amazing, I'm so happy for you. 

Alexia xxxxx

Hi Marlyn

I am so relieved.  

Thank you so much for your kind words, while I was waiting to hear.   

I wish you all the best.  

I wont be disappearing from here.  

Regards

Polly xx

Hi Alexia 

I’m pleased your mum is eating something, even if it is desserts, I’d do the same if I could get away with it.   

Sounds like your mum is having a rough time with chemo.  My mum was ill with the chemo, but it’s normal.  At least the chemo should be helping her.  When my brother was having chemo, he was ok with the first 3 treatments, then went down hill, but with him, I do be the big sister and tell him to eat, but when he didn’t eat, the doctor gave him meal replacement drinks, so he had those instead of meals, as he loved them.  You could do the same for your mum, you can either mention it to your mums doctor or buy complan, or other build up drinks. The doctor also gave these drinks to my mum, but she didn’t like them.  

I had my mums and my brothers permission to speak to the doctor about them, so I could talk freely without to the doctor without them being present.  I don’t know if you have this, it has to be written permission, but it was so nice to talk in private, about my worries and fears, that I couldn’t show in front of mum or brother.   

Im going to see my daughter tomorrow and I’ll let her know what’s been going on, I know she will tell me off lol, but I’m used to that.

i had my phone glued to me yesterday, hoping and praying the consultant would call.  I was scared when my phone finally did ring, after last time, but this time it was all good news.   

in the post yesterday I got my routine appointment through for my next mammogram, I did find it funny, but I cancelled the appointment, on the advice of my consultant, also it was for Southampton hospital which isn’t my local hospital, I would have gone though if I hadn’t just been tested.  

 I won’t be leaving this site, so keep me updated please on how your mum is doing, also how you’re doing, people forget about the family going through it.    

Sending you love and hugs 

Polly xxx

Hi Polly,

I'm glad to see that you won't be leaving us, as your experience and input will be invaluable to others going through the challenges that tests and a diagnosis bring.

I am sure that having your boss going through the same agonies as yourself, at virtually the same time, must have been helpful for both of you. No matter how well intentioned, it is difficult for family and friends to understand what you are going through, although sadly your family probably know more htan most.I look forward to your continued inputon the site.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx

Thank you so much, that's what id like to be like, but because mum's eating all these desserts she makes me eat them too so she doesn't feel like it's just her (give it a few more months I'm sure I'll be at weight watchers next :D) 

Touch wood, she has been a lot better after her reduced strength third round, and the next 3 are the T part of her treatment, which is less symptomatic we've been told, I really hope so! But thank you for the advice about the meal replacements, can you buy Complan from the pharmacy? See I think my Mum would be exactly like yours with them! Haha, she hates textures of things anyway, but now with chemo it's even worse, she's even gone off eating crusts, she cannot stand the crusts on bread, it's crazy isn't it! But as you said, at least they are getting something with calories or something to keep their strength up by having the shakes. 

What does the letter have to say to have permission to speak to her doctors? I'm her next of kin, but I didn't know I could be someone that could speak to her doctors about things too, that would be really helpful, cos as you said, there's some things you don't want to say in front of the person going through it, in case you upset them or make them worry about you. 

I hope your daughter doesn't give too much a shouting off at you  :p i always find it funny how when a mum is poorly or has something going on, then the roles reverse and the daughter takes on the role of being the mum instead, it happened with my Nan, and now it's happening with my mum and me! Haha. 

I was so so so happy when I read the post you shared about the results being clear for you!!! I'm so glad. And that is funny, I think you've had a good check over now! Haha. I'm so happy to hear you're one of the few people that actually want to keep up with checks and tests, as there are so many that avoid them for fear of embarrassment, and It breaks my heart to think that they are risking their life for the sake of it. 

And yayyyy, I'm so glad you won't be leaving, you've been one of the kindest and most understanding people I've ever met! :)

I will keep you updated, I'm hoping this chemo is gonna kick this cancers butt! Haha. 

I'm so happy for you! Lots of love and hugs to you, 

Alexia xxxx

Hi Alexia 

Glad your mum is eating something.   You can buy build up shakes, like complan from the chemist.  I think they sell some in the supermarkets, but ask your mums doctor about them.  My mum and brother were prescribed a shake called forticeps (don’t know how to spell it) it’s similar to complan.  

The letter about your mum giving you permission to talk to the doctor, just has to say, your mum is giving the doctor permission to discuss her (your mum) without your mum being there.  It has to be signed by your mum.   I found it invaluable with my mum and my brother, it was nice to talk to someone about my fears with there treatments and how they are really doing.   

It’s funny how people’s tastes change.  My brother just wanted burgers at the start of his treatment, then went on build up drinks.  I used to moan at him about the amount he ate, ie 1 egg and a teaspoon of beans.  I used to phone the cafe his girlfriend would take him too and they would keep me updated on his eating.  (Didn’t get on with his girlfriend).  As I couldn’t stay in Cardiff forever and his girlfriend wouldn’t come round while I was ther.  I only stayed 4 months.   

I told my daughter what had been going on with me, she was shocked, but ok.  But I found out she has been referred to the breast clinic for a scan.   We had a chat, I was going to tell her face to face, but I hurt my ankle Friday evening and couldn’t drive, just my luck, we live 100 miles apart.  She is coming to mine next weekend, so we will have a proper talk then. My daughter is being tested for MS and Lupus, so she is having a tough time.  I take her to her hospital appointments, as she doesn’t drive, so she can’t hide anything from me.   Haha

thank you for your kind words, as you sound so much like my daughter.

i have been thinking of you and hope you’re keeping your strength up, as we all worry about the person who is ill, but little thought is given to the person caring.   Make sure your eating properly, otherwise you will be ill.   

Sending my love and thoughts to you and your mum.  

Plots of hugs

Polly xxx

Hey Polly, 

Yeah she's eating a lot better, but we are finding that the steroids that she has for 4 days post chemo are being a nightmare! Did you ever hear of that or ever have it happen with your Mum and Brother? It's like she wakes up fine, feeling alot better, but as soon as she takes the steroids, they make her shaky, they cause her breathing to became worse, and they make her so tired she wants to sleep, but too awake that she can't go to sleep. She actually dreads the steroids more than the chemo at the moment, and from what I've read from everything else, these steroids are meant to make her more awake, not more tired and ill, so I don't know what to do with those, I don't know whether there is an alternative or not. But ill definitely ask about the shakes, they will be great for the days she doesn't eat much! 

And that's brilliant, do you think I should get letters to both her oncologist and surgeon or just her oncologist? Because we see her oncologist after each round of chemo but only see her breast surgeon rarely (he diagnosed her, the next appointment she has with him is the 12th of Feb to discuss which operation he recommends for her) so maybe just the oncologist?

I'm glad you still found out a way to find out what your brother was actually eating, it must have been terrible having his girfrliend against you and not with you, especially when you both want whats best for him. You still did the most amazing role of being his sister and supporting him and checking up on him, it doesn't matter how many miles are between you, you were still there for emotional support when he needed it and that's invaluable xxx

Oh I hope your daughter gets on okay at the breast clinic, and also with her testing for MS and Lupus. I have a life threatening condition and can cause internal bleeding etc called Vascular Ehlers Danlos Syndrome, and waiting for the results for that were horrible, and although they were positive that I'd got the disease, although it wasn't what I was expecting at all and still was a huge shock to both myself and all my family, It felt like now I knew I could be more aware and careful with things, and it made me feel as though I wasn't in limbo between results, so I hope either way it helps you and your daughter to know what's going on, sending you and her buckets of love and we'll wishes. 

And thank you so much for your thought, I am trying my best to be as well as I can, it's just difficult with my condition, and I wish I could do more for Mum, but having every joint dislocate is annoying! Haha. 

Lots of love to you and your daughter 

Alex xxxxx