Hi there,

I get notifications when a response comes in. How are you doing?

I was diagnosed in Oct 2018 and had chemo, mastectomy and radiotherapy. I think the waiting and not knowing is one of the hardest parts of the journey. Is there anything you want to ask or just to get it all out?

Lisa x

Hi Cos,

A very warm welcome to our forum.

There is always someone here to talk to. You can say anything, as we all understand and have been where you are now. Have you been told when your biopsy results should be back? I hope that you don't have too long to wait.

I fully agree with what Lisa has said "the waiting and not knowing is one of the hardest parts of the journey." I have had 2 bouts of breast cancer in the past 12 years and still lead a busy and fulfilled life.

Please keep touch and let know how you get on. We are always here for you.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx

Lisa and Jolamine thanks you so much for replying.. I'm not really sure what I want to ask.. I suppose the same as you've both been through my world was completely thrown upside down  yesterday and it's taking me to a lot of dark places, I have 3 children 21, 16 & 12 who don't know yet as the eldest is in college and won't be home until tomorrow and I'll tell them together then... I have an appointment on Thursday to get my Results but was told yesterday it will be chemo, surgery and radiotherapy. How did you cope with the waiting and trying to stay positive,  I'm really struggling and it's not like me. I have great family and friends to support me but feel really alone.... I'm so sorry for the gloomy post but I needed to say it and actually feel a bit better just writing it down, Clare x

Big hugs! I remember that feeling all too well. My mind took me to all the worst case scenarios as I'd never experienced cancer close up before. Once I got started with treatment it wasn't too bad. It just became a part of my routine. My boys were almost 2 and 6 when I was diagnosed. I was breastfeeding the youngest, so took a bit of a double hit emotionally. I imagine your mind has been all over the place? I think the biggest thing for me was making sure childcare was covered. Having amazingly helpful friends and family was a massive help. Helping with the kids, making food for us all so my husband didn't have to do everything, coming to treatment with me etc. if people offer help and you need it, don't be afraid to say yes!

I felt like the calm at the centre of the storm. Once treatment started I kind of calmed right down while everything whirled around me. I don't think anyone can truly know what you're going through if they haven't experienced it themselves. People find ways of dealing with it the best way they know how. Once treatment was finished I went to specialist cancer counselling to help process it all. It was super helpful for me. It's not for everyone, but I find talking about things helps me to process what's happened and to get it out of my head. 
 

My boys were so young when it all happened that they didn't really get the full weight of it all. We were very open and honest and talked about it in an age appropriate way. I think there are lots of resources for older kids to help them with their feelings. This page and MacMillan have links to websites they can access if they feel they want to know more but don't want to bombard you with questions.

It can be a rollercoaster, but we're here for any questions you have.

Lisa x

Hi Clare

Just saw the thread and wanted to jump on to say sorry you find yourself here. I found a weird lumpy bit in my left boob about 5 weeks ago. Was seen very next day as had private healthcare through work. I was NOT expecting it to be anything, but about 4 hours later, 2 mammograms, one ultrasound and 2 biopsies was told it looked suspicious and that I also had a large area of DCIS. My mind went to the darkest place, I was sobbing so much. It was the WORST part of my journey so far. Since then I've had MRI, PET AND cT scan and started chemo on the 22nd Feb.

What I've learned is: 

The not knowing is hideous. Our minds take us on a rollercoaster of nightmares.

Once you know what you are dealing with, you can handle it (I promise)

I'm grateful I can actually be treated and am being and know I will get through this. 

You too will get through this. 

In terms of what you can do now, I personally started using meditation a LOT. Just concentrating on controlling your breath really calms your body down. You want to try and achieve the calmest landscape inside your body as you can. Difficult to imagine doing when you feel terrified, but you can do it. I also had a daily bath of epsom salts and would listen to meditation for anxiety or healing. There are loads on YouTube for free. 

Happy to answer any questions you might have, now or anytime. The ladies I have encountered on this forum are wonderful as are the nurses who you can call anytime you are feeling scared or down. The number is within this website somewhere. 

Big hugs

Vicki x

Hi so I hadn't revisited this forum since I posted last year. I just had a couple of notifications and it reminded me and just wanted to give you all a catch up.(if you don't mind)

so I went and even though I'd begged not to have the vacuum biopsy again and they reassured me I wouldn't have to I ended up having to have it. Now I know there are worse things to go through and I'm in no way a princess but that really messed with my head and terrified me. So anyway they biopsies me again and told me there were changes in the tissue from the one I'd had done 3 years earlier! Well I said to them well of course as you've taken tissue so it's not going to be the same, but as I'm no expert I still worried myself sick. I had my previous clip took out and a new one put in.They left me again 2 weeks to sweat it out but then I got the results ~ the tissue did change but "it was because they had taken tissue the last time" so I sighed a massive sigh of relief but I think it will definitely happen every time and every time I will panic that it's full blown cancer and one time it might be but thankfully not that time. 
sorry this is long and a bit rambley but I wanted to update and let people know that not every time it is bad news 

Hi Clare,

My mother died from secondary breast cancer, so I always thought that I would be prepared to deal with a cancer diagnosis. Instead I fell to pieces completely. I had additional tests before I got my  diagnosis and the longer I waited, the darker my thoughts became. I have since discovered that most of us find our imaginations going into overdrive at this stage.

It is so difficult to deal with so many unkowns, yet remain positive. Irrespective of the outcome, you will feel better once you know exactly what you are dealing with. Most of us feel better just by expressing how we feel, whether in writing or word.

It is great to have the support of family and friends along your journey and you will be glad to have them. A cancer diagnosis affects not just you, but your entire family. You'll find that the more positive you can be about the outcome, the better your children will be able to cope too.

Feel free to come on here and say things as you feel them. It is good news that your cancer is treatable, so try to hold on to that for the time being. Try to keep yourself busy whilst your'e waiting for Thursday to come around. You'll find that you'll have more questions once you know exactly what you are dealing with. You might find it helpful to write down any questions you have for your consultant on Thursday, as it's all too easy to forget something important in the heat of the moment.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx

Hi, 

I found a lump, about the size of a pea just above my nipple two weeks ago. I went straight to the gp and got referred. Had my breast clinic appointment yesterday, fully expecting to be told it's nothing. I'm 41, but have no family history. They took a mammogram, ultrasound and two biopsies. When I spoke to the dr again after, she said it looked worrying and to make sure someone is with me when I go back for the biopsy results and to make plans.  People keep telling me not to worry as it will be fine, but the dr seemed certain it's bad. But just very early at least. Really struggling to deal with the wait. I have 3 children and can't bare the thought of leaving them 

It's a very worrying time and while your friends and family say likely nothing don't worry you can't help but worry. 
the lump was found early and so if there is something of concern your medical team will deal with it quickly. 
I had BC diagnosis 10 years ago with lymph node involvement. I became involved in a very well organised programme of care. Excellent medical team. Oncologist was  one of the most dedicated doctors I have ever met. Treatments now are excellent so in the event that it is BC you will have treatment which will stop the cancer in its track. Follow up treatment good too. During treatment I met ladies who were still receiving treatment for over 15 years.  Younger ladies such as you getting back to work living life to the full. BC scary there is no doubt about it but you have a very good outlook please believe. 
kindest regards.