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So anxious about having a colonoscopy

Munglepip
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I had a positive fit test recently. However I know why it was positive as I had diarrhoea the week before and I have piles. I should have waited until everything settled down before I did the test, but was sick of seeing it on the side in the bathroom. I don't know the result as it just says 'abnormal' on my records. I have been unbelievably stressed about having a colonoscopy. Read all the risks and I am  absolutely terrified of a perforation. I know this is rare, but what if I'm completely healthy, then I am the 1 in a 1000 who's bowel is damaged, when, if I  hadn't had the colonoscopy I would have been fine? I'm not sure I can take this risk. However, now things have got much worse as my Mum is at end of life dementia. I haven't slept for 2 weeks with all the worry. I've cancelled my pre assessment appointment and told them at this time I can't deal with all the worry. I know all the arguments for having the procedure, but still can't face the risk. I have to take one thing at a time and dealing with my Mum's condition is all consuming. Thank you for allowing me this opportunity to vent. My husband is less than useless. He didn't even know what piles were! 

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    Hi Munglepip and a warm welcome to our forum, 

    It's normal to be anxious and as you yourself explained very well there are so many reasons which are not cancer that can trigger a positive FIT test and I think you did the right thing in having this test. I think it might be a good idea to discuss all this with your doctor and also to share your anxiety so that they can answer questions you might have about the colonoscopy. There is useful information on our website on the colonoscopy and if at any point you wanted to talk to our cancer nurses about the procedure or ask them for advice, feel free to ring their free helpline on 0808 800 4040 - it is open Monday to Friday from 9am to 5pm. 

    I completely understand why it may all have felt a bit too much to have to deal with with your mum facing dementia and it being all consuming for you but perhaps you could consider rebooking the pre-assessment appointment for whenever you feel ready as it will be a very good opportunity too to talk things through about how you feel and your fear about the risks of the procedure. 

    Countless members of our community have had a colonoscopy and I hope that they will be along shortly to reassure you as nothing is better than hearing from personal experiences. I am sorry to hear your husband has been useless - and you made me laugh when you wrote that he didn't even know what piles were! But here on this forum you will hear from the experiences of others who not only know what piles are but who can truly relate to what you're going through and the anxiety associated with it. 

    I hope that you manage to talk things through soon and that you feel reassured about the procedure so that you can get confirmation that your symptoms were nothing of concern. 

    Best wishes, 

    Lucie, Cancer Chat Moderator

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