Hi Miloarmadillo,

A very warm welcome to the forum.

I am sorry to hear of the position you find yourself in and can understand how you feel. Unfortunately, most of us feel like this while we are waiting for results. This is one of the hardest times of a cancer journey. Dealing with the "unknown" is a very emotionally disturbing place to be. Irrespective of the outcome, you will feel better once you know your results. Breast cancer is one of the most treatable forms of cancer. This doesn't mean that your life plans are shattered.

I lost my mum to secondary breast cancer, which had spread to her brain, bones, liver and lungs, after a hard, 12 year battle with the disease and was diagnosed myself 16 years ago. Like you, I thought that this would shatter my plans, but fortunately, diagnosis, treatment and after care have advanced considerably in the intervening years. There was just no comparison between the experience which we both had. I had a second cancer diagnosis within a year of my lumpectomy and had a double mastectomy. I still lead a busy and fulfilling life.

I won't lie, treatment can be challenging, but it doesn't last forever and you will soon be able to look back on it as a blip in your life, but one that will give you inner strength that you didn't even know you had.

I agree with Fifth. Try not to look too far ahead. Take one day at a time. Try to find a pastime to fill this waiting time - anything to take your mind off the wait. Steer clear of Google, as this will only scare you further and won't give you any answers. Much of the information is poorly researched, out of date and aimed at the more spectacular cases. Don't give rein to your overactive imagination, which can lead you to all sorts of dark places.

Please keep in touch and remember that we are always here for you.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx