Hello….

In a bit of a tricky situation. I found a lump in February and told myself it would go away. It didn’t. I’ve realised over the past few weeks that I really need to get it checked out, but I’m already in a hugely stressful situation as I recently lost my job to AI. 

I’m staying with family for the next six weeks and likely moving back to live alone in London in mid-June. I don’t think I should wait that long to get it checked. It’s very round and hard but it’s not jagged. It does feel relatively fixed in place and doesn’t seem to have got bigger. 

I’ve got the house to myself for two weeks so going to try and go next week even though I'm petrified. My friend died two years ago from cancer so my head is obviously thinking the worst and I don’t want to tell my mum as she always tells me that drinking energy drinks will give me cancer. I can see her saying it’s my fault if I tell her or somehow making it feel that way. 

I’m 32. I don’t have any known history in my family but after my paternal aunt died we discovered she’d had mastectomy so I can only assume she had breast cancer and also kept it to herself. Gah. I’m going crazy. I just wish I had an answer either way. If I go back to London, it’s for a job that requires insane training too so if I’m sick the whole thing just won’t work.