Hi everyone,

I’m really scared and struggling with health anxiety right now. I’m waiting for investigations but my symptoms and history are making me worry about something serious like pancreatic cancer.

Medical history / background:

Smoked since age 17 stopped last year before pregnancy 

Heavy alcohol use from 24–29 (vodka daily at times, often vomiting or passing out) stopped last year before pregnancy but had a drink a month ago 

History of pica (eating disorder), including eating paper from age 20 until last year

Known vitamin D and iron deficiency

IBS diagnosed, multiple colonoscopies in the past, occasional rectal bleeding

Pregnancy complicated by B12 and iron deficiency

False positive autoimmune/syphilis flag during pregnancy

C-section delivery, required 2 blood transfusions, was jaundiced briefly after birth

Significant stress history

One episode of faecal incontinence last month

I also had a recent overdose episode involving alcohol and escitalopram. I was checked in A&E afterwards:

Blood tests done

Liver function tests normal

Troponin and ECG normal

Chest X-ray normal

Physical examination clear

I was told it may be stomach-related and possibly anxiety-related. Endoscopy was mentioned but not done.

Current symptoms (ongoing and worsening over the past month):

Brain fog and confusion

Left shoulder pain

Chest pain radiating into arms/armpit

Rib pain (both sides, sometimes shifting)

Shortness of breath at night / difficulty breathing when lying down

Fatigue and weakness

Night sweats

Lightheadedness

Loss of appetite / not enjoying food

Feeling of impending doom

Difficulty getting comfortable

Urgent need to open bowels after eating

Stool changes (light brown colour, mucus, sometimes constipation, sometimes urgent)

Occasional unusual stool consistency

General feeling of being unwell and “not right”

Current medical follow-up:

GP has ordered stool tests and tumour markers

Abdominal ultrasound booked in about a month

GP mentioned possible gallstones or bile duct issues

Advised to go to hospital urgently if jaundice develops

Family history:

Both grandmothers died of cancer

One had pancreatic cancer

One had uterine cancer

Family history of cardiac issues

What I’m worried about:

I’m terrified these symptoms could be pancreatic cancer, especially given the family history, alcohol history, and ongoing digestive symptoms. I’m finding it hard to function while waiting for tests and I’m constantly anxious.

If anyone has experienced anything similar or has any advice on what helped them cope while waiting for results, I would really appreciate hearing from you.

I have a beautiful 3 month old baby and this is killing me. I'm planning my funeral and everything through worry. 

Thank you for reading.