- Hi, new to the forum and all of this in general. Before I start I want to make it clear that I have not discovered any changes to the testicles in terms of lumps, pains or hardness or really any symptoms so this might come across as confusing for some to work out.
I'm a 17 year old male with a healthy lifestyle, I'm very active and have never been a worrier in the past especially about my health.
I've recently been dealing with health anxiety, the main focus, testicular cancer. Why this has been the case I cannot work out but it is causing great trouble. The only reason it could have arises is because about 3 months ago, following a panic attack, I started to question my general health, at this point I couldn't find a reason for these panic attacks and infact I didn't actually realise these where panic attacks (I thought it was due to heart issues, cardiology) so had built up alot of fear surrounding my health. Anyhow, I was with my girlfriend one night and as couples do we mess around and sometimes play fight and I think she might have knocked my left testicle, it was a bit sore and when she left I decided to feel it properly and everything felt normal aside from it being slightly sore, pain wasn't even a 1 I'd say and went away the next day.
The reason I mention the knock is because I believe that could be the only thing as to why I have anxiety about my testicular health now. For the course of the next month I constantly checked my testicles and I mean I checked alot ( I would constantly stop my work and go and check myself sometimes 20 times a day I'd say, ridiculous I know !) and instead of the left one, I started focussing on my right testicle, mainly because I had made it sore from how much I had been checking, no idea why I checked that one more but I did and clearly hurt it. As you can imagine I kept on checking because well, I made it sore!, this added to my anxiety and I had panic attacks every day throughout November, this lead me to 2 GP appointments, the first one I went to, at the time I actually had figured what was going on and I knew I had nothing to worry about with my testicles, as I had no symptoms. I mean zero, the only pain I was getting was the aches from my anxiety and caused belly pains and back pain( for context I'm 6 ft 3 and work at a joinery bench all day and have suffered from back pain ever since I discovered gaming at the ripe age of 10) so I have always suffered with back pain. But the fact back pain was a symptom was enough for me. Fast forward a bit and I did bloods for thyroid function, full blood count, liver function, kidney function, a test for diabetes and an EKG. All came back perfectly fine and I was very happy and all my aches had subsided and the checking slowed down a bit, what I didn't realise was by checking so much, I had forgotten what normal felt like, as small changes in the testicles which are benign happen throughout the day as far as I'm aware (temperature and other factors).
Fast forward a bit and the health anxiety wore off but I was left in an anxious state and was beginning to feel very depressed and unmotivated,almost as if I had been diagnosed with something and I was waiting for it to kill me off.
I then went to a second GP appointment because my groin on the right side started hurting, not badly just a throbbing pain that I could actually feel with my hand along the inguinal area so instantly thought it was a hernia or worse, the cancer had began to affect my groin, but still, no testicular symptoms, no pain actually coming from there, no lumps, no changes, still from what I remembered, it felt normal. But being a hypochondriac I panicked and started checking again, but had made improvements because I knew I could hurt myself. Anyways I take myself to the GP with intentions of getting a physical just to be on the safe side, and they could look at my groin. This did not go how I planned, the doctor I had checked rotation of my hip, groin and my right leg first and I explained my worries, she had no concerns for a hernia. I layed on the table after this so she could check my hip when I'm laying down incase the hernia hadn't popped through yet. When this was done she asked me "do you have any lumps or pain in your testicles" well I didn't, so, I said "no, I have no pain or any lumps I can feel" and she quickly said " I won't check them then, I won't put you through that" and I had wish I said something now so she would check them but stupidly I didn't. She prescribed me with naproxen and oemeprazole for my groin to deal with the pain and it's helped so much to the point where I don't feel it anymore.
I felt a bit guilty after this because after all I just wanted a physical examination of my testicles because I had driven it so far into my head that there was something wrong with my right one and I just couldn't feel it because I had felt too much. And I lied to parents and girlfriend saying that the doctor did check me and said everything was fine ( I recently confessed and said she didn't)
Anyhow, Ive been seeing a therapist for anxiety and other mental health problems and for pretty much most of December, the checking had stopped and I only checked once to find that they felt normal to me and it gave me a massive amount of relief, they feel nice and smooth, similar size, the right one has always been slightly bigger and hung lower, which is weird because I always was told it was the left, but not everyone is the same, the epididymis on both where fairly similar and couldn't feel any cysts or anything, they are also similar in their consistency, the left (smaller one) is only slightly firmer but still has a good amount of give, is it normal for the two to be slightly different in their firmness, especially if this has always been the case? I'm not too concerned about that but just wanted to know because cancer can make them firmer than usual.
It got to the end of December and a couple days ago, I checked again, as I'm instructed to check once a month. I thought, new month, might aswell check, bit silly looking back as I should be an expert on what they feel like as I checked them so much!
This time, again, no changes to the testicles, but the thought that the left one is firmer than the right worried me, because I started googling and people where saying this is what they experienced when they had testicular cancer. For my case, when I mean firmer, I mean you really really have to feel and I'm starting to think if its anxiety playing up again. It's still smooth, I can still notice that it has a good amount of give, but I check the right and it feels the same as the left, so I don't know if it's the position of the testicle in the sack that causes it to feel any different. Anyways this has caused me to yet again, keep checking, my girlfriend checked today and said to me, "stop being silly, they feel exactly the same" so it has given me a bit of confidence.
Another thing that worries me is now the left side of my groin and the inguinal area is now tense, could this be from me checking, I know that the spermatic cord runs up quite far, could it just be sending that pain to my groin. It only ever really hurts when I start getting anxious or if I've particularly checked alot that day, it doesn't bother me when I sleep or at rest, but writing this right now and it definitely feels worse when I think about it but it's no more than a 2 on the pain scale.
Overall, I'm going to a GP appointment this Thursday and I WILL have a physical and I'm hoping I'm going to be fine, I'm just getting very worked up about maybe getting an ultrasound because I fear it might cause some scan-anxiey, but I will speak about that with my therapist and I will tell my doctor this too.
Sorry for the absolute essay someone may have to read and deal with but I needed to get that out to a community because there's only so much family and my girlfriend can deal with and I'm not turning to Google like I did last time.
The main takeaway, can my testicles be slightly different levels of firmness, not hard, not abnormally firm. Especially if one is lower sitting than the other.
I will keep an update too on how my appointment goes.
