Hello everyone. This is my first time here. I apologise for the length of this message.
I have always suffered from health anxiety, not least because all members of my immediate family died young - three of them from different cancers. i have had prostate cancer.
I tend to get skin cysts and about 18-24 months ago a small spot appeared on my upper abdomen, which I foolishly put down to another cyst. It has grown very slowly, so much so, that I didn't really notice how large it had become until a couple of months ago. In my defence, over this period, I have been by two nurses about other unrelated matters which have involved showing my torso, but neither commented on it. When I went to a third nurse recently, they suggested that heat treatment for a month and antibiotics might fix it.
When it didn't, I was referred to a GP, who also prescribed antibiotics, but also fast-tracked me to a dermatologist. When I showed the dermatologist my lump he looked alarmed, and said it wasn't a cyst.
He's going to excise the lump and send it for a biopsy in a few week's time. I told him that I thought it was cancer, and he said that it might well be benign - he wouldn't know until he received the biospy result.
Would a doctor ever give you false hope?
The lump is about 4cm in size, hard, dark and dome-shaped. After looking online, the only thing that fits this description is nodular melanoma. I know this is an aggressive cancer and that the odds of survival are low, especially when the tumour is this large. I am now convinced that I have terminal cancer. My anxiety has gone through the roof and I know I must be making life hell for my partner - she is a great comfort and support.
The strange thing is that I have never felt so fit and physically healthy in my life. I do 14-miles of hard cycling several times a week, and have lots of energy. My weight has remained stable and healthy. I have a good appetite.
Am I right to assume the worse or is there any hope that it might be something else? And if it is the worse, is there any chance of survival for a few years or more?
If anyone has any suggestions for reducing my anxiety, I'd be really grateful to hear from them.
Thank you for taking the time to read this.