Everything seems really rushed , a visit to dr a week and half ago followed by internal ultrasound a couple of days later and then last Thursday a phone call from my Dr saying I was being referred on 2 week wait for a biopsy, which I thought was fine but then late  Friday I received an email from hospital with an appointment for tomorrow (Monday) for uterine biopsy due to suspected cancer and now I’m panicking. I feel so alone, I can’t talk to my husband and don’t want to worry my children if it’s nothing (late teens-mid 20’s) and I thought I could carry on as normal but every time I shower or have a moment to myself I burst out crying and I feel like I’m being swept round and round and really don’t know what I can do to stop feeling so out of control. I’m nervous about the biopsy and pain , I have to drive myself to the hospital and back- I’m also nervous about silly things like finding the actual place in the hospital. I’m worried that the biopsy will cause me to bleed heavy again as I was for 36 days passing horrendous clots (reason I went to dr initially)  I’m 52 and I am really worried as my nan died at 59 from this type of cancer that had spread outside the womb , my mother is ill and due to have a pacemaker fitted and I don’t know what is going to happen if these tests come back positive- I am so scared but feel I have to keep on a brave face cos otherwise I will breakdown and not be able to do anything.

i don’t really know why I wrote this except it’s sort of like telling someone how worried I am but without feeling by guilty for making them worry too, I keep telling myself I am so stupid cos so many people face this everyday, my dad has just finished prostrate cancer treatment and my mother has been a breast cancer survivor for 8 years, so it’s not like cancer hasn’t touched my family, it just scares me so much