I have severe anxiety which is preventing me from accessing healthcare. I’m 27 and have never had a cervical exam, even though I’ve had some worrying symptoms for a long time. I’ve had vaginal discharge pretty much every single day for a whole year. I haven’t seen a doctor once, and even if I did, having an exam will never be an option. I can’t face having it done. I cry every time I think about it or see a smear test campaign. Even the thought of simple and non-invasive medical exams worries me. It feels unsafe.
I understand it’s normal to feel anxious about these sorts of exams but to me, it’s traumatising and impossible. I’ve convinced myself I have cancer because of this and because of some other unrelated but concerning symptoms I have. I’ve had genealogical issues since I was around 13, but I’ve always refused exams. I’ve lived most of my teenage and adult life convinced I have cancer because no one has been able to tell me otherwise. But the trauma tied to that part of my body and healthcare in general has made it impossible for me to get the help I need. I know this might be difficult for some people to understand but my fear is very real and it’s debilitating every aspect of my life.
I know there’s not much anyone can do or say to help but I feel so alone and scared.
