Hey Rebecca, I'm really sorry you are having these health issues, I can't imagine how much worse this whole situation must be for you because you are scared of doctors and hospitals on top of everything else. Your thoughts must be spiralling out of control with worry but try to take some deep breaths, distract yourself as much as you can and remember that you can always reach out on this forum for some support. Could you maybe take someone with you for any future examinations, to help you keep calm? 

Hi calico, thankyou for your reply. I got my call back 2 days later and i got an appointment for ultrasound which i didnt realise was an internal ultra sound .....quite painful for me tbh and i didnt anticipate it being internal so left my partner in the car. I have also had a coloscopy done on monday....if thats how you spell it? The lady took biopsies at this time and there was 2 other nurses there for support but god they must of thought i was an emotional wreck. I went back in the changing rooms after to sort myself out then as i re enter im asked to take a seat.

At this point she gives me the wide eyes and puts her hand on my arm and quite matter of factly tells me " im sorry but you do have cervical cancer" " im not going to just wait to call you and tell you over the phone, were going to get the ball rolling now. Need to get you and mri scan make sure its no where else" after that shes talking im looking down crying say yes yes ok yes yes ok to everything and i hear not much else after that. My partner has been driving round the block ....the pair of us not realising that this conversation could possibly even happen today. They phone my partner guide him to the nearest entrance to me and put me in the car...ask if i want them to speak to him for me...which of course no i will tell my partner.

So that's where we are! I am waiting for the biopsies to get an appointment with the gynaecologist so they can decide what stage i am at and whats the plan for treatment. I asked for my GP to call me today because i wanted to ask 2 questions...

What pain relief can i have now because i cant cope, sleeping is near impossible and im trying to keep working. Second question was , can she do that?? Can she say i have cervical cancer without the biopsy results??? How can she just say that out loud with out it in black and white and apparently she can do that.

Now i know nothing bout cervical cancer so i dont know how she can tell what shes talking about without the results in her hand, has this happened to anyone else? 

I made the grave mistake of trying to work out my stage according to my symptoms using google....its saying advanced so im hoping that actually she has made a hugeeeeee mistake here.

Hi calico, thankyou for your reply. I got my call back 2 days later and i got an appointment for ultrasound which i didnt realise was an internal ultra sound .....quite painful for me tbh and i didnt anticipate it being internal so left my partner in the car. I have also had a coloscopy done on monday....if thats how you spell it? The lady took biopsies at this time and there was 2 other nurses there for support but god they must of thought i was an emotional wreck. I went back in the changing rooms after to sort myself out then as i re enter im asked to take a seat.

At this point she gives me the wide eyes and puts her hand on my arm and quite matter of factly tells me " im sorry but you do have cervical cancer" " im not going to just wait to call you and tell you over the phone, were going to get the ball rolling now. Need to get you and mri scan make sure its no where else" after that shes talking im looking down crying say yes yes ok yes yes ok to everything and i hear not much else after that. My partner has been driving round the block ....the pair of us not realising that this conversation could possibly even happen today. They phone my partner guide him to the nearest entrance to me and put me in the car...ask if i want them to speak to him for me...which of course no i will tell my partner.

So that's where we are! I am waiting for the biopsies to get an appointment with the gynaecologist so they can decide what stage i am at and whats the plan for treatment. I asked for my GP to call me today because i wanted to ask 2 questions...

What pain relief can i have now because i cant cope, sleeping is near impossible and im trying to keep working. Second question was , can she do that?? Can she say i have cervical cancer without the biopsy results??? How can she just say that out loud with out it in black and white and apparently she can do that.

Now i know nothing bout cervical cancer so i dont know how she can tell what shes talking about without the results in her hand, has this happened to anyone else? 

I made the grave mistake of trying to work out my stage according to my symptoms using google....its saying advanced so im hoping that actually she has made a hugeeeeee mistake here.

Hi Rebecca 

I am going through this exact same thing at the moment! I was told at my colposcopy on Thursday that she could see cancer. (I was referring after my smear came back 'high grade dyskaryosis with features of invasive squamous cell carcinoma') This has all happened within a week and my mind is blown! I have been going crazy asking all these same questions, started goggling and came across your post. So I had make an account to tell you you're not alone <3

Charlik thankyou for going to that effort to reach out to me. When i called back she she said the cancer was very visable and that she wouldn't of said either way unless she was 100% which of course she was correct. My results are back and i had to google it to understand it...

• Appearance:

  Grade 2 cells look somewhat abnormal, but not as different as Grade 3 cells, which are considered poorly differentiated. 
• Growth Rate:

  Grade 2 cells tend to grow and divide slightly faster than normal cells but not as rapidly as Grade 3 cells. 
• Aggressiveness:

  Grade 2 cancers are generally considered more aggressive than Grade 1 cancers, but less aggressive than Grade 3 cancers. 
• Spread:

  Grade 2 cancers may be more likely to spread to other parts of the body than Grade 1 cancers, but less likely than Grade 3 cancers. 

  So shes booked me for my mri but said likely it wont be till next week and then that will tell me the stage because apparently the stage is determined by size and spread.

  Problem is now the pain is so intense and it is make me get sharp pains in weird places all on one side of my body. The bleeding and clots are out of control, theres blood in my urine...alot! I get pain in my side now when i wee and sharp pains near my bum hole all the time...sorry for t.m.i i also constantly feel the need to pee but nothing.i barely eat now i feel so bloated all the time. Im crying in pain through the night, ive just really had enough xxx

Dear Rebecca

I am so sorry to hear what you are going through.  The symptoms you are struggling with sound very distressing and painful. Have you been able to get some decent pain medication? Have you a date for you MRI yet? 

Best wishes

Tina

Hu Charlik

I am sorry to hear about your diagnosis and what you are going through. I understand the whole google thing - I spend hours on it hoping to find a different answer to the one all my symptoms point to. I have an ultrasound and biopsy next week. What are the next steps for you?

Best wishes

Tina