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Scared it's spreading

Catface
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Currently lying awake absolutely petrified. Ironically I was sleeping really well after a few weeks of insomnia, then one of my children woke up crying because she's snotty and can't breathe through her nose. I woke up soaked in sweat. It happened last night as well.

Currently waiting for whole body CT and ultrasound guided biopsy, due to see the consultant again on 9th April, following referral to haematology on the 2ww. Feel quite sure now I have lymphoma and I'm terrified. Night sweats mean advanced don't they?

The lump in my groin keeps growing. I forgot to tell the consultant about the tachycardia I've had for weeks (possibly longer). I was feeling optimistic but now there's just dread. Consultant thought she could feel another lump in my armpit when I saw her a few days ago.

I'm 37 years old. I have a wonderful husband and four beautiful little girls (aged 11, 8, 6 and 3). I don't want to put them through this. Please tell me your experience so I don't feel so alone.

  • Hello Catface

    I'm sorry to hear that you're currently struggling with the wait for further investigations. We know that for many people this can be a worrying time. 

    I can see from another post that your recent blood test results didn't raise any immediate cause for concern which is good to hear. Keep hold of that positive bit of news and try not to think too far ahead as this will cause you more anxiety. You might find it helpful to read through this thread which has some advice and tips for coping with waiting. 

    If it would help to talk things through with one of our nurses I know they will be happy to listen and offer any advice, information and support they can. They're available Monday to Friday 9am to 5pm on 0808 800 4040. 

    Hopefully, you will have a date for the CT and ultrasound soon and when you see the Constulatn in a few weeks they will be able to give you some reassurance. 

    Best wishes, 
    Jenn
    Cancer Chat moderator 

  • Offline in reply to Moderator Jenn

    Thanks for replying  

    You'll be pleased to hear I've pulled myself together after my dead of night wobble! I don't know anything yet, so I need to stop letting my mind rush ahead of me.

    I had a chest, abdo, pelvis and neck CT scan today, the technician showed me some of the images which was pretty cool. Still waiting for a date on my biopsy, think I've annoyed the booking office with how often I've called to check, they've told me the referral hasn't even been looked at and authorised yet, and there aren't really any slots for biopsy anyway, so I need to prepare myself for that.

    My problem is that I feel out of control and that makes me anxious. I like to have all the information and it's frustrating waiting for other people and not being able to see the results of tests I've already had. Trying to keep busy with limited success. Weekends are the hardest knowing everything shuts down in the hospitals so no one is doing anything to move my case forwards.

    Even if no one reads this it feels good to write down how I'm feeling so it's not in my head anymore. Sending lots of love to everyone currently struggling with waiting.

  • Offline in reply to Catface

    Hi sweetie I’m waiting for results of biopsy on a growth on my vocal chords they wouldn’t be definite when I pushed them to know if it was cancer said I had to wait for results and my case would be discussed at an MDT multi disciplinary meeting they said my neck and chest scans were clear and yet I have pain in my chest. Don’t know what to think or tell family. Like you it’s good to put down in words with people that are as scared as you are. We need to stay strong with a positive mental attitude WE CAN DO THIS

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