Possible breast lump

I'm not sure where to start and my head is a bit all over the place, so apologies if this comes across just as scrambled as my head. 

About two weeks I found what I think is a lump on the side of my breast and it seems to be between it the armpit. There also seems to be a freckle/mole in the area that I don't remember seeing before. 

After doing some anatomy research, it seems to be the axillary tail area. 

My employer provides private healthcare cover and it does include breast screening and I have an appointment with a consultant this week, on Wednesday at 5:30pm but it requires 24 hours notice to cancel otherwise a fee is charged to my employer.

However as the days have been going on, I keep doubting myself - constantly checking my breast and one minute thinking there is a lump and the next minute thinking there isn't, that I'm being paranoid and seeing/feeling something that isn't there ( due to other (non-medical) things that have happened in my life, I constantly second guess myself and don't trust my own judgment/instincts). So I am worried that I will be wasting my employer's and the consultant's time. 

To try and check whether there is actually something there, I have for the last week been trying to get an appointment with my NHS GP as the private healthcare cover only provides phone/video GP appointments and I really think a physical examination is needed. 

Please don't think that I don't feel bad about also possibly wasting the NHS' time because I do and I feel awful that my first thought was to contact my employer's healthcare provider. 

Anyway, I haven't been able to get an appointment with my NHS GP - when I called to book an appointment for later in the week as I need to schedule it around work, they told me they couldn't do it over the phone and I had to fill in a form on their website. So the same day I filled in the form and they called me about half an hour later and offered me an appointment for late afternoon the same day. I told them that I wouldn't be able to make it due to work and I asked if i could book an appointment for later in the week. They told me that I couldn't and that instead I would have to fill in the form again on the day that I could attend an appointment but they were unable to give me any indication of what times would be available. So I did the form again on a day I thought I would be able to attend an appointment. They called me at 10am to ask if I could attend an appointment at 10:15am or 10:45am that day. I told them that there wasn't any way I would be able to get from work to the surgery by 10:15am or 10:45am due to the travel time. I once again asked if I could book an advance appointment and they told me no.  

Wednesdays are the only day of the week that could potentially attend an appointment but as above I won't be able to cancel the consultant without my employer incurring a fee. 

So I don't know if I should keep trying to see the NHS GP and cancel the consultant appointment in case I am mistaken or if I should just go and see the consultant and be laughed at and have them angry/annoyed at me for seeing/feeling something that isn't actually there? 

The other thing is that I haven't told my husband about any of this - he suffers from very severe depression and I know that this will be a trigger, however,  I won't be able to hide the appointment with the consultant from him and I don't know how or when to tell him. 

  • Hi Dragonfly!  My personal view is that you should definitely see the private consultant, really on a " better safe than sorry" basis.  Obviously though it's got to be something you yourself feel comfortable with .

    The consultant will have seen hundreds of women, who, for loads of different reasons, have concerns about their breasts,which turn out to have nothing to do with cancer, so, if it does turn out to be nothing, it won't be anything new to him/her    They will certainly not laugh at you 

    Also, the consultant will be getting paid for this anyway so even if there is nothing there, there will be compensation for him / her .

    + It sounds like a Wednesday appointment will be the quickest way if getting some facts which, either way, may well help to alleviate your anxiety ........

    + I just wondered if how you are feeling now is more to do with the issues previously which have made you 2nd guess yourself?  Can you separate this from the potentially suspicious lump?

    Re telling your husband - difficult .Is there any way you can reel him after the event when you will have more facts to hand?

    Good luck and let us know how it goes .