I'm not sure where to start and my head is a bit all over the place, so apologies if this comes across just as scrambled as my head.
About two weeks I found what I think is a lump on the side of my breast and it seems to be between it the armpit. There also seems to be a freckle/mole in the area that I don't remember seeing before.
After doing some anatomy research, it seems to be the axillary tail area.
My employer provides private healthcare cover and it does include breast screening and I have an appointment with a consultant this week, on Wednesday at 5:30pm but it requires 24 hours notice to cancel otherwise a fee is charged to my employer.
However as the days have been going on, I keep doubting myself - constantly checking my breast and one minute thinking there is a lump and the next minute thinking there isn't, that I'm being paranoid and seeing/feeling something that isn't there ( due to other (non-medical) things that have happened in my life, I constantly second guess myself and don't trust my own judgment/instincts). So I am worried that I will be wasting my employer's and the consultant's time.
To try and check whether there is actually something there, I have for the last week been trying to get an appointment with my NHS GP as the private healthcare cover only provides phone/video GP appointments and I really think a physical examination is needed.
Please don't think that I don't feel bad about also possibly wasting the NHS' time because I do and I feel awful that my first thought was to contact my employer's healthcare provider.
Anyway, I haven't been able to get an appointment with my NHS GP - when I called to book an appointment for later in the week as I need to schedule it around work, they told me they couldn't do it over the phone and I had to fill in a form on their website. So the same day I filled in the form and they called me about half an hour later and offered me an appointment for late afternoon the same day. I told them that I wouldn't be able to make it due to work and I asked if i could book an appointment for later in the week. They told me that I couldn't and that instead I would have to fill in the form again on the day that I could attend an appointment but they were unable to give me any indication of what times would be available. So I did the form again on a day I thought I would be able to attend an appointment. They called me at 10am to ask if I could attend an appointment at 10:15am or 10:45am that day. I told them that there wasn't any way I would be able to get from work to the surgery by 10:15am or 10:45am due to the travel time. I once again asked if I could book an advance appointment and they told me no.
Wednesdays are the only day of the week that could potentially attend an appointment but as above I won't be able to cancel the consultant without my employer incurring a fee.
So I don't know if I should keep trying to see the NHS GP and cancel the consultant appointment in case I am mistaken or if I should just go and see the consultant and be laughed at and have them angry/annoyed at me for seeing/feeling something that isn't actually there?
The other thing is that I haven't told my husband about any of this - he suffers from very severe depression and I know that this will be a trigger, however, I won't be able to hide the appointment with the consultant from him and I don't know how or when to tell him.
