Refusing to get checked in case the worst is confirmed

A member of my family has a history with skin cancer (non malignant) over the past few years but over the course of a few weeks they’ve had lesions behind both ears which are crusting and not healing at all and has started to gradually spread down their neck. They’re extremely stubborn and point black refuse to go to the docs to get it seen to so as not to ‘waste their time’ but I think deep down it’s due to the fear of them confirming it’s skin cancer again.. I’m really worried that it could be cancer again but they will not listen to me at all, has anyone dealt with a situation like this? I don’t know what to do or say anymore but I would never be able to forgive myself if it got to the point where it was too late to do anything about it

  • HI Newport22,

    A very warm welcome to our forum.

    As you know this is just totally illogical. We are always advised to see to any lesion that could possibly be cancerous and to get it checked out as early as possible. The sooner they are detected, the better the outcome usually is. My hubby has Bowen's Disease and has had a number of Squamous Cell Carinomas removed from his head, face ad back. It is a simple procedure and certainly worth doing. Hopefully these lesions that are causing you this worry, will still turn out to be benign, but they do need to be checked out.

    If you cannot persuade your family member to seek advice, could you persuade someone else to try?

    Do please keep in touch and let us know how you get on. We are always here for you.

    Kind regards,

    Jolamine xx

  • All of my family members have tried but it usually ends with them falling out. I am contacting the doctors myself today to see if they will offer a call out service. Thank you for your advice xx

  • With due respect in this situation I  believe the most important thing is to offer support,  care and understanding.  Showing respect for another person in their personal decision is vital... you say 'I would never be able to forgive myself'  offering love, care and support means there is nothing to forgive...

    I have been in this situation,  so realise and understand how difficult it is... our concern comes from care and support.. I realised that there was nothing more to say or do, I had to respect the opinion/ choice/decision of a loved one...

    Thinking of you at this time...