Hello, this is very odd for me. I really didn't think this is somewhere I'd be posting at 30 years old but I'm greatful it's here and that I can.
A year ago I was misdiagnosed with skin tags. I later found out it was HPV I'd been carrying for nearly a year prior. Fast forward to Sept gone, my dentist instructed me to have my tonsils looked at as they were inflamed. After fighting my way though the NHS ageist policies I found myself in front of a surgeon on New Years Eve 24 who had a large concern about my tonsils, they found several lump like cysts on one tonsil and ordered an emergency surgery for 3 weeks time to remove them both for biopsy. They ended up being removed last week after a series of NHS delays. I never 'googled' tonsil cancer until last night and it's left me highly unerved after reading the symptoms and causes. HPV, alcohol, smoking, ear pain, neck pain.
The pandemic wasn't kind to me, i became alcohol dependent due to the stress (no family, flat mates left me high and dry with rent and bills) I wasn't functioning as an adult, isolated and depressed and in growing debt to my landlord and utilities. I ended up losing my job early on and landed on benefits which was another fight.
Obviously woe is me and all that, I understand my lifestyle may be the leading cause to my current suffering. I'm quite alone in this process and I don't even know if I have cancer, yet all the signs(in my head) lead to it. Ive been dealing with sever ear pain for awhile, doctors flapped their hands at me saying nothing is wrong after appointment after appointment yet thats a symptom. Guess I feel unheard and let down not just by myself but by the very professionals meant to help. The only time I've felt believed or heard was when my surgeon said he'd be happier if they were out.
After 15 years of smoking and a decade of alcohol abuse (the society we live in) im sober and regretting everything. Im not sure why I'm posting this, I guess I'm alone a lot and need to get these thoughts and feelings off my chest. Maybe I'm being silly and overly presumptive but my gut is telling me prepare for the worst
