Good afternoon folks, 

I feel a bit guilty even posting on here because I know there are other, more genuine people on here, but I am in a pretty bleak place. 

I am a 46 year old guy, I work full-time in a good job, I lead a pretty normal, enjoyable life, but I suffer with terrible health anxiety and have done for some years. This is on the back of a pretty rough few years when I lost my mum suddenly, a couple of close friends, and then my estranged father, with Covid thrown in for good measure too.

On the 28th December I started getting headaches/pressure in my head to the point of I reverted to my usual habit of using Dr Google. As previously all roads led me to believe I have a brain tumour. I went to my GP on New Years Eve who asked some questions, shined a light in my eye and said there was no concerns but if they persisted come back in a few weeks. 

Such is the way my health anxiety works, I was convinced his consulation was too half-hearted so on the 2nd Janaury I took myself off to the Urgent Care Centre, waited for a few hours and spoke to a really nice doctor. I explained my fears, my symptoms and told him that my father who I hadn't seen in years had died of a brain tumour in 2022 aged 76, and my concern was it was hereditary. He completed a really in depth examination, following his finger, reflexes, even reading at distance, and he said there was nothing neurological going on with me. He said that it was most likely tension headaches which can last for quite some time. He even said that if I was concerned, speak to my GP but in his opinion, he would be 99% sure I wouldn't be referred for a CT scan based on what I was presenting with. 

You would think that would reassure me, but I even went to the opticians the next day and had a full eye test and included where they can scan behind your eyes. Yes, I needed glasses and no, there was no blood pressure issues and everything was perfectly healthy. 

But still, the pressure in my head continues, the slight feeling of nausea and the absolute fear of having a brain tumour. I am constantly searching for symptoms, looking on the internet, everything. It is the first thing I think about when I open my eyes, and even during the day. 

I even looked at the idea of getting a private CT scan but the price was out of my range. 

I know this is waffle and probably sounds outrageous, but does anyone else have similar anxiety/concerns? Some of my friends are sympathetic, they know how bad it can be, but it really is affecting my life now. 

Thanks,