Oh that is not very clear. The 'tel.' appointment with Gastro is after my Colonoscopy and after my appointment with the Colorectal Consultant. 

Why? No-one knows anything yet.

So confused. 

Oh, I forget the real beginning bit..... almost constant pain LHS, so I know colon is the problem. 

However, the ileum which I had thought showed no pain, is painful 'upon examination'.

They know their stuff these surgeons isn't it? 

I am just soooooo confused.

The colonoscopy letter states that an Endoscopist MIGHT conduct my colonoscopy.

Pardon? Well if not, who? Any old pipe-feeder will do?

Hi Hmm, 

Poor you this is all terribly confusing with this abnormal CT scan and then an MRI that wasn't too bad, them checking that the CT scan was definitely yours and the booked colonoscopy that was cancelled and then booked back in. How terribly confusing all this must be for you. I hope that you can find out soon when you are due to have the colonoscopy and what exactly is going to happen when. Don't hesitate also to get in touch with our cancer nurses on freephone number 0808 800 4040 - the lines are open Monday to Friday from 9am to 5pm and it might do you some good to talk things through with them. 

If there is anything you feel you are not clear about, don't hesitate to let your medical team know and to ask for further clarifications as to what to expect. I hope that you will hear from other members of our community who have been in a similar place before and that they will be able to tell you what steps they themselves followed prior to diagnosis. 

Keeping everything tightly crossed for you that everything will go well and that you won't have to wait too long to get a definite diagnosis and a bit more clarity on all this.

Best wishes, 

Lucie, Cancer Chat Moderator

Thanks Lucie

I am on glue pills from all of the stress (and I have not mentioned most of it). Stress from my health which is always challenging (faulty immune system), far worsening health this year and then all of the nhs stress (as I say, barely touched on here), on top. 

Not toooo long to go now until the colonoscopy is out of the way. Fortunately a neighbour has offered to pick me up or I could not have sedation. All very cruel isn't it?

The other week I was on a drip for two days, for a (thought to be) urinary infection, but no culture grew. 

But then I had also been given tablets (by a Nurse, no doctor at the hospital prescribed them, I was told), that I was allergic to.

It is just absolute chaos and still I have barely touched upon the stress being inflicted and the hours spent in A&E, sometimes to no avail, by something that barely resembles a health service, but rather something else. 

I do find Jesus to be my most supreme Healer. Maybe He really, really is. He has looked after me for many years and as long as He is with me and in me, nothing else really matters much. Friday was absolutely heartbreaking, but then we are fortunate to share in His Agony upon the Cross, that we may also share in His glory one day. Thanks be to God. He is my Saviour and He is my future. 

I am obviously upset to have ended up on glue pills therefore, but then I also have hypothyroidism which is difficult to treat as I struggle to take any of the thyroxines (and most medicines in fact) and it is the most central hormone in the human body, and because I also have CKD, so I shouldn't beat myself up too much. I am only human and I need consider others in my weakness. So far I am tolerating the additional medication and I can feel the glue working - to hold me together for the time being.

It's a lot, isn't it? It is complex and mysterious and it is God's will for me. I have been defending the sick and weak as best I can for many years, and Jesus Himself said "Not my will be done (Father), but Yours". 

So I was given this in my heart one day : because of the mystery surrounding your health, you are able to accept the mysteries of faith. I am very fortunate and receive so many blessings despite my unworthiness. ****'s mercy often brings me to tears. He is so beautiful. I am so fortunate. 

The other day I was in Holy Church and I looked up at Jesus on the Cross. I became aware that He would have been covered in urine (and indeed faeces). It is impossible to crucify someone and for them not be covered in urine and faeces. It was a blessing for me (comfort), because whilst in hospital for two days, I had been drenched in urine from vomiting (and indeed pooing) at the road side, under the stars, en-route to the hospital, in agony, very sick and barely able to drive. 

Thanks for the phone number and invite.

Eternal love to all and God bless