How and when do I tell my adult children? I have been diagnosed with a malignant brain tumour.

I have been diagnosed with a malignant brain tumour. 
im awaiting an operation and follow up treatment but the nature of it is potentially 8 month survival rate.

im 48, have 3 children between the ages of 22 and 19.

my children suffer from IBD which is stress induced also so also have this consideration. 

How/when do I tell them? They know I have operation booked and they are very positive that I’ll all be sorted after that. 

  • Hello Alexandra1234, 

    I am so sorry to hear about your brain tumour diagnosis it must have come as a real shock to you and I hope that you won't have to wait too long for the operation or to start treatment. Your children are no longer small but they remain your little ones forever and with their suffering from IBD which is stress induced it is normal for you to worry about how to tell them, when to tell them and what to say to them really as you don't want to worry them. Equally they will I am sure want to know and be there for you to support you through this difficult time. 

    There is information on our website on talking to children about cancer - the information is targeted to small children and teenagers but I am sure you will be able to find inspiration there and adapt it to your particular children taking into account too their particular circumstances such as the IBD. If you would like to have a chat about this to our cancer nurses, they will be happy to help - you can ring them on this free number 0808 800 4040 - their helpline is open Monday to Friday from 9am to 5pm. 

    It's such a difficult and sad situation and it's hard to find the right words to tell our loved ones and I hope that you will hear from other members of our community who have been in this situation before, who have children who are of a similar age to yours and who have had this tough conversation before. There's nothing like hearing from the first hand experiences of others who have been in your place before and I will now let them come and say hello. To make it easier for others to find your post, I have edited the title of your thread slightly to include details of your diagnosis and on talking to children. 

    Keep us updated on how it all goes if you don't mind  and I hope that the operation will go well and the treatment will be as effective as possible. 

    Best wishes, 

    Lucie, Cancer Chat Moderator