I have a gradually increasing hard swollen gland. After several visits to the GP surgery and pushing for more action, I was referred on the faster diagnosis pathway 21 days ago. Whilst the target is 28 days to be told whether you have a cancer diagnosis, I’m still waiting for appointments for an MRI and biopsy which I am informed are likely to be 2-3 weeks away. I did manage to see an ENT doctor four days ago through the “urgent” referral, but unfortunately not the consultant I was told but another doctor, who said very little in my appointment and merely shrugged when I asked him what to do if symptoms get worse during the wait. At this rate, I won’t have a full diagnosis before Christmas. Whilst it is not the fault of any of the individuals I am dealing with, it is just not acceptable. But I know a lot of people will be in the same position. 

The waiting and not knowing is unbearable. My work is suffering and my life feels like it’s stuck on pause. I’m shying away from social occasions, hiding myself away and getting myself into a state everyday (I live alone so there is not much to distract me at home). I have made the mistake of googling everything, and now I wish I could delete that knowledge from my head. I’m not sleeping and eating properly. It’s horrible feeling like no one is helping. It has been two months since I noticed the lump and I’m probably still weeks (or even months) away from having an answer. I’m not sure how much more I can take. 

I’m not sure what the purpose of this post is, other than me offloading. I do not want to overburden my parents or family and make them worry unduly. I just want it all to be over