End of life/ hospice care advice

Hello, my dad has terminal cancer and has not had treatment due to poor “short months” prognosis. He was put under the care of hospice where until recently he received a call every 2 weeks and has basically been left to deteriorate at home. We’ve had to call the district nurses out for bed sores and pain relief. Still we ask when he can go into the hospice. It feels like they want him to just die at home which is not his or my mother’s wishes. My mum who is 75 is at breaking point caring for him on her own at home. No at home assistance has been offered. Last week he was blue lit to hospital with sepsis where he is currently. He doesn’t have mobility now and is very very weak. We don’t know where he will go when they release him. How do you get into a hospice as it’s not safe for him or my mum for him to be at home & the hospice are still resisting him going in. We will pay for it but just need some help - he has always said please don’t put me in a care home so is there something like a cancer hospice that you can pay for? It feels very unfair and inhumane at the moment. 

  • A very warm welcome to the forum Lang, although I'm so sorry to hear about your dad. This must be an incredibly difficult and heart-breaking time for you all.

    I hope this information we have about choosing where to die, including this link to Hospice UK will prove useful, but I would encourage you to give our team of cancer nurses a call for further information and advice. They're available on 0808 800 4040, Monday - Friday between 9a.m - 5p.m and they will do all they can to answer your questions and let you know where you can get more help and support for your dad.

    The charity Marie Curie specialise in providing end of life care and emotional support for people living with a terminal illness, including their friends and family, so if you haven't done so already, do get in touch with them as they will be able to help you and your parents as well.

    Hopefully some of our members who have been in a similar situation with their loved ones will be along soon to share their experiences and advice, but in the meantime our thoughts are with you Lang and we're sending our strength and support to you all.

    Kind regards,

    Steph, Cancer Chat Moderator