Hi Ian writing I suppose for a bit if reassurance and possible because today I feel like I've run into a brick wall and I'm feeling down & tearful.

Where I'm at - I'm 56 a couple of years ago I had a routine smear and it came back positive for HPV, so I then went onto the yearly smear programme each coming back positive.

At the start of the year I was referred to the colposcopy the results of which confirmed abnormal cells. I was then booked in for a Lletz in March and the results confirmed CIN1. I did take a few days leave after due to discomfort siting up - but no bleeding did have clear fluid discharge which lasted about four weeks but I was fine.

Had the six moths follow up smear and 14 days ago got the results and hospital appointment with the colposcopy team. The results of the smear had come back CIN3. So 11 days ago I saw the colposcopy doctor and had my 2nd lletz during that appointment.

For the first few days I wasn't really in that much discomfort but my stomach bloat d up really badly and my weight went up by half a stone. My procedure was on a Friday so on the Monday and because I work mainly at home I went to work but in the afternoon I had to lay down in my bed and I took my laptop and just read work related stuff. Did the same the following day. The bloating over this period got steadily worse and I ended up going to emergency gyae unit on Wednesday evening where they examined my stomach but said there was nothing they tell was an issue.

Today is day 11 and although my stomach has gone down a bit - I still cannot get into the majority of my wardrobe, the discomfort seems to be increased I'm conscious when I move lean forward etc that I get a pulling feeling and dull pain - I'm taking painkillers at regular intervals. I started writing this because I got to my desk and just burst into tears this morning.

Dont know if I should be contacting the colposcopy team again or this is all part of the recovery and I just need to give it time whilst trying to stop my head from going into the space that wants to worry about results of the 1st lletz showing minor abnormalities but the follow up smear showing severe.

sirry for the long waffle but just feeling fragile and frustrated as tomorrow I'm supposed to be at a works conference and I've been rummaging through my wardrobe trying to find something suitable to wear that I can fit my stomach in without adding to the discomfort:-(